If you're reading this, chances are you're a mother. This is the Yummy Mummy Club. Chances are also good that you're thirsty. You take care of little people every day; that can be very dehydrating. Nothing a refreshing libation can't fix though, right?
Fellow mom and author Janet Frongillo shares stories, sympathies, and some strong drinks to keep you laughing in her book, Mommy Mixology: A Cocktail For Every Calamity.
Perhaps you can relate to the inspiration behind some of these recipes?
When your toddler digs in his heels and comes back with “NO!” 367 times, shake it off with a refreshing NO!Jito.
When your little darling starts to pick up on—and repeat!—every word you say, clean up your language with a Son of a Beach.
When that budding Georgia O’Keeffe uses her skills to redecorate the home in permanent ink, clean up while sipping a Markerita.
When your 3-year-old pushes down his Pull-Ups and learns the difference between boys and girls, sit back and laugh with a Penis Colada.
Janet is a fellow mom in the trenches, fighting the good fight with funny bombs and fruity cocktails. Here's an excerpt from her book.
It's 5 p.m. Your house looks like a stage-5 hurricane ripped through it. Everyone is screaming. Or crying. Or screaming crying. Yours eyes land on the Pottery Barn catalog, where children clamly sit in playrooms nicer than your home. They color on paper–not the walls. The mom has no muffin top. No junk in the trunk. Varicose veins? Um, no.
You need a mental break, so you hop on Facebook, hoping desperately for something, anything to lift you from your own temporary madness. Instead you're on long enough to see that your childhood nemesis is in killer shape, is wealthy and aging well, and has a tremendous career. Bitch, no! She probably flies first class and doesn't buy her clothes in a red cart with her Market Pantry snack treats.
Your seething is interrupted when toddler swipes the warehouse-sized Cheerios bag, squealing as he trips, while Cheerios rain down everywhere. Don't get your granny panties in a twist–beer-thirty is on! All is right with the world.
1(12-ounce) bottle cold beer
Market Pantry chips (optional)
Freeze a beer mug for at least 30 minutes. Poor beer into frosty mug. Repeat if necessary. Serve with Market Pantry chips, if you really want to get all crazy.
And we're giving away two copies of Mommy Mixology courtesy of Ulysses Press! To enter, all you have to do is leave a comment below and tell me which one of these cocktails fits your life. You have until December 7th, 2012 to enter. You must be a YMC member and please be sure you've registered your email address in our commenting system so we can contact you if you win.
Yummy Rules and Regs: You must be a YummyMummyClub.ca member to win. Click to sign up! It's free and filled with perks. One comment per member. Entries accepted until December 7th, 2012. Contest open to Canadian residents (excluding Quebec). Winners will be picked using www.random.org. See full contest rules.