Lisa Thornbury: Party Mummy


Do You Constantly Cancel?

Then You Might Be A Chronic Bailer...

Back in the days of electric blue mascara and Friday Night Videos, the mere mention of a party would send me moon-walking out the door in my acid wash jeans before you could say “Def Leppard.”

My how things have changed. Just ask any one of your fellow mummy friends—If given a choice, would she rather:

a) Arrange for a sitter, bargain with her spouse over whose turn it is to be DD, find something to wear (a challenge since PJs or yoga pants generally aren’t considered proper party attire) and head out on the town

b) Lick a snail (the slimy part, not the shell)

c) Tuck in with a good book, lights out and in REM mode by 10 pm.

Chances are, most exhausted parents will choose C. (If they chose B, they have “issues” and you may want to reconsider including them in your social circle).

It’s not that we don’t WANT to connect socially, to share a laugh, dip some chips, or put our keys in a bowl and take our chances. It’s just that we’re pooped. Dark under-eye circles, can’t finish a sentence kind of exhaus...zzzzz

Partying is no longer the bitchin’ priority it once was. Sleeping for 6 consecutive hours is da bomb now baby.

However, if I may...

“Suck it up ya bunch of babies!”

So you work full-time, have a million and one errands to run, and are busy raising little people. Does that mean you should cheat yourself out of some quality social time? No!

Does this sound familiar?

A month before a scheduled outing or get-together: “Oh yay!”

A week before: “Better find an outfit. Um, yay?”

Day of: “Please let that black cloud open up and shower us with melon-sized hail stones so I have a legit excuse not to leave this couch....”

An hour before: “Hi Helen? It’s me. I have a splitting stomach ache, I mean headache in, head.  It’s probably contagious so I’m not going to be able to come tonight. So...bye. Phew. Honey, I think she bought it. Pass me the chips and the remote will you? And let’s crack open that bottle of wine. Oh god, Helen?? Are you still on the line....? Shit.”

If that rang a bell, you may be a Chronic Bailer. It’s a serious (and LAME) condition. When is the last time you went out with your girlfriends, met another couple for dinner and drinks or attended a party and you came home and said, “Well, that was a complete waste of time. I thoroughly hated that. I sure wish I hadn’t gone.”  Never!  Sometimes I have to remind myself of that (and a cranky hubby too) as were running around trying to get us/kids organized to go out.

It IS worth it.

So make the effort. You’ll be happy you did.  Or, if you are a hopelessly chronic bailer, do what I do and host – it’s next to impossible to bail on your own party...unless of course you plan on hiding out in your basement or leaving a note on your door telling guests that your house is under Quarantine or that you’ve moved to Borneo.  Save yourself the trouble, mix up a batch of Mojitos and enjoy your guests instead.

~ Party Mummy—Straight Up