Kelly Flannigan Bos: The Relationship Rescuer


What to Do When "Getting Pregnant" Just Isn't Happening

Important Conversations to Have with Your Partner

What to Do When "Getting Pregnant" Just Isn't Happening

When you are ready to have a baby, the "getting pregnant" part it isn't always easy. Infertility is a common struggle for many couples, and as someone who struggled with fertility and counselled many who  had challenges becoming parents, I know how hard it can be. The waiting, longing, disappointment, as well as the "why us?" can take its toll. You might wonder if it's meant to be when an anticipated pregnancy does not happen as planned.

Infertility can take a financial and psychological toll on couples. When it comes to what to do next, couples aren't always on the same page.

So how should you begin to broach the difficult topic of "what's next" with your partner?

Talk About It

It's important to be open with each other about your feelings - grief needs to be acknowledged and recognized. Feelings of insecurity might become apparent concerning whose "fault" it is and shame can be a common feeling. It's important to discuss these feelings and to recognize that neither of you is "broken." Talk instead about the new path you are forging together.

Check Your Page

As you discuss hopes and dreams for a child, you might find that you have different ideas on moving forward. The process can leave each to their own reactions: wanting to quit, or trying something new. These discussions can cause fearful reactions, so hear each other out fully.

There are different and valid reasons that make it daunting to keep trying. The fear of grief and loss may hold you back. In some cases or with a simple stalemate it can be useful to talk to a counsellor and work it through. For many couples it is also important to talk about what starting again means and what the end point might be. Only you and your partner will be able to answer that for your family.

Decide Next Steps

After trying to conceive for some time, couples may  wonder what the next step should be. It's important to educate yourself and discuss all the options to determine the best plan. If you are deciding to start IVF or renewing your Clomid prescription, this isn't a wait and see thing; there is a great deal to consider before you start: appointments, assessments, medications, expenses, time off work, and the paperwork ahead.

The Stork Conception Aid could be a solution providing more control to a struggling couple. It might be the closest some couples can get to “pulling the goalie" or more accurately "adding more offensive players." The Stork works by using insemination through a cervical cap, a well-established method with success rates similar to that of IUI (intrauterine insemination). The application is relatively simple with a condom like collection method and a cap applicator that is similar to a tampon. Although it doesn't solve all fertility issues, it could be helpful for those with low sperm motility, low sperm count, an unfavourable vaginal environment, and unexplained infertility. It is also an affordable option for couples looking at IVF (in vitro fertilization) or IUI by bridging the gap between in-office fertility procedures and natural intercourse at home.

Taking the first step is hard and raising children is a wonderful blessing and a staggering amount of work - but it's worth working for.

"Hope is a renewable option: If you run out of it at the end of the day, you get to start over again in the morning" —Anonymous