Jersey Shore returned to the airwaves Thursday night with the premiere of its third season and of course it didn’t disappoint! The regular cast members that we know and love (and kinda hate) returned to the house and the so did the drama! It started off with fan favourite, Snooki, getting herself ready to leave for the Jersey Shore house, sporting a painful looking shade of orange all over her skin. Honestly this girl takes fake tanning to a whole new level that I thought wasn’t even possible. But then, just to add some fun to the house, we see that Snooki will be bringing her best friend, Deena to the house with her. I find it funny that she keeps talking about what a good friend Deena is and when she picks her up she is introduced to Deena’s mom! Because for real, if you’re really best friends – I bet you would have met her mom before you take her daughter to star on the show that basically personifies STD’s!
OK – so Deena is like mini-Snooki – except that she’s just a bit taller, so I guess more like Snooki Lite because they’re both small and orange and super mouthy – the perfect ingredients for a stellar season! So they get into Snooki’s BMW – because apparently smooshing pays big bucks these days, and drive off to Seaside Heights to the Jersey Shore house. But before they can get there perpetually disturbing on/off couple Ronnie and Sammi arrive at the house and promptly dib the bedroom upstairs that has the 3 beds – which totally didn’t make sense to me. After all, unlike the Miami house, this house does not have a smoosh room! JWoww and her boobs arrive next which makes Sammi and Ronnie all bitter because of all the drama that went down last season and let’s face it – no girl in their right mind is going to take on JWoww because that girl looks mean!
Vinny arrives next and takes the room that’s left with only 2 beds in it, followed by my secret shamecrush, Pauly D (don’t judge – it’s my shame) who also doesn’t understand why Ronnie and Sammi have taken the room with 3 beds. No one does really – I don’t. My conspiracy theory is that the producers told them to just to start more drama – well played producers. Then Snooki and Snooki Lite make their grand entrance with open liquor bottles and expletives flying and you know it’s time to party! The Situation soon shows up and once again illustrates why I think he is the total brains behind the operation when he complains, in front of Ronnie and Sammi, that it sucks to be the last one in the house!
So Yay, the gang’s all here, and the rest of the episode pretty much plays out like every other textbook Jersey Shore episode. There’s drinking, there’s smoking, there’s hot tubbing, there’s Sammi and Ronnie drama, and there’s Mike almost hooking up with Snooki Lite! But then Snooki Lite takes it one step further by accidentally taking her clothes off and Mike turns her down! Yeah, bet you haven’t heard that one before.
And then it happens – the new girl decides to go all Jersey Shore on Sammi and call her out for being such a bitch. Ronnie then acts like the tough guy he is and screams at Snooki Lite to the point where Snooki Lite actually looks afraid – and then after Sammi shoots her mouth off some more JWoww finally decides she’s had enough and shows Sammi what time it is! And it wasn’t t-shirt time!
So let’s just say that the season premiere of Jersey Shore was all I could ask for! It was filled with lots of drama, lots of GTL, lots of fake (tans, boobs, nails etc) and lots of promise that this season will be even more trash-tastic than the last. And I will be watching it week after week – will you?
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