Did you catch last night's CMA winners? I love myself a good awards show, but I have to admit I tend to run kicking and screaming from anything that remotely resembles Country Music. But, last night, when faced with either watching another episode of ‘Family Guy’ or tuning in to catch at least the opening of the Country Music Awards I decided on the CMA’s – mostly because Carried Underwood was hosting and given that she married Ottawa Senator Mike Fisher and I’m from Ottawa I was almost obligated to do so.
So I switch the channel to see Mrs. Fisher performing the opening number and all I can do is wonder why she chose to wear such high heels because she obviously can’t walk in them! Oh, and she’s really, really skinny. But then Brad Paisley joins her and they have this whole funny opening monologue thing where they sing a song to the tune of Beverly Hillbillies and they talk about the Nashville flood. But what I really liked was when they made fun of Tiger Woods and Bret Favre – gold right there!
So at that point I’m thinking ‘Hey, these might be pretty good’ but of course then my husband looks at me and promptly demands the remote since the ‘last time he checked we don’t listen to country music’ blahblahblah and promptly changed the channel to some movie with Mark Wahlberg. Sooooo, I didn’t watch the entire show but I did manage to wrangle the remote back from him and click over every once in a while.
Here’s what I liked – Brad Paisley is super funny. Like, really funny. And I like that the Country Music people don’t take themselves too seriously. Like when Brad Paisley referenced Jeff Gordon’s fight, called Lady Antebellum Lady Gaga, and asked Gwyneth Paltrow for Coldplay tickets.
Carrie Underwood was ok, but MAN she loves herself! Nothing like having an entire song dedicated to you, your husband and your wedding. With a slide show movie all about you playing in the background while you sing all about you, your husband and your wedding! Seriously – enough already. We get it – you’re hot, you married a hot hockey player, and you like to change your outfits.
Loretta Lynn was there too. I might not be a country music fan, but I like me some Loretta Lynn. Sissy Spacek introduced her tribute which featured someone named Miranda Lambert (yeah I know she was the night’s big winner) and Sheryl Crow. OK, help me out here. If you’re gonna honor one of country music’s biggest legends I would hope that you would bring more star power than Sheryl Crow! Cause she sucked! Thank God Loretta Lynn came out after and finished off the song because she saved the performance! And let’s just talk about how incredible she looked – shall we? Loretta Lynn is 78 years old and mother of six! Six kids!!! And she looked stunning! They just don’t make them like that anymore I tell you.
OK – now for the most ear bending part of the night. Kid Rock performed, maybe because he hasn’t had a hit in mainstream music for a while so he thought he’d give country music a try. I don’t know why, all I know was that my ears were bleeding listening to him, he was like a train wreck and I couldn’t look away. Terrible, he was so terrible. Like is country music where people go now to try to resurrect their career? Cause it didn’t work. He not only looked terrible but he sounded atrocious. I could have sung better than him and if any of you saw the ‘Bust a Move’ video from Blissdom you know that’s not saying much!
BUT.......there was a reason I kept flicking back to watch the CMA’s and that was because Gwyneth Paltrow was going to be performing, LIVE.
She’s starring in a new movie where she plays a country singer so this was kinda a big thing. So I tuned to watch her as she sang alongside Vince Gill and she was ok. Hell she was way better than Kid Rock! I don’t think she’ll be quitting her day job anytime soon, but she played guitar and she sang live and she did a respectable job. Although all I could think about was all the other legitimate country artists in the audience and whether they were pissed off that she got perform and they didn’t?
Scene and Heard,
Confessions of a Pop Culture Mummy
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