Halfback, Quarterback, Sexy back.
This is my last lesson to you, Grasshopper. It's a 2-prong attack and it's all about your heart and junk. (No, actually your junk. You'll see.)
1. How to Keep a Heart-On
There’s no such thing as ‘we’re not doing anything for V-day ‘ this year. You may think there is, but there isn’t. The absolute bare minimum (in my humble opinion) for any festive calendar date is a card. Said card should not be in its shopping bag with the receipt tucked inside. I mean properly signed, and sealed. With your wife’s name written on the envelope.
If you feel stifled by what you think is a materialistic soul-sucking aspect of the day, remember that February is also the Heart & Stroke Foundation’s Heart Month.
You don’t have to spend hours racking your brain over gifts—just spend 5 minutes taking this online risk assessment (your gift to yourself), and then take the money that you’d spend on roses, cinnamon hearts and wine, and donate it here.
You’ll be helping save 1 in 3 Canadians who die of heart attack and stroke, and reducing the risk of the number 1 killer of women.
That's like being a superhero.
2. The Lingerie Touchdown
In theory, lingerie is a fun V-day gift that can throw a bit of spark into any relationship. Just beware that as frilly and lacey as it can get, skivvies can be equally volatile. Dads, in all likelihood, you’re not going to get the night of steamy porn sex you have looping through your head in exchange for the racy little number you picked out for your wife to model. You may just end up with a bewildered half-cringe of a smile, an ‘Aww, thanks Honey,’ and the onset of a sudden migraine or yeast infection.
Don’t get me wrong. It could be the sexiest piece of underwear in the world.
But after a night of putting the kids down, being randomly covered with poop and/or puke and/or any manner of food from dinner antics—not to mention not having had a shower in a couple days or having had a chance to shave her legs in months—it might not be first instinct to wiggle into that pair of crotchless panties *shudder* and put on a show. Just saying.
Instead? Make a date of it.
Take her to a great upscale, fun lingerie store like Secrets From Your Sister, where she can actually get a proper bra fitting, try on some saucy pieces, and play some potentially risqué peek-a-boo with you through the change-room curtain. Mummy gets child-free time being pampered and will likely leave with something more functional than a pair of garters, and Daddy gets a peepshow along with some MVP points.
Now throw on some Isaac Hayes and make me proud.
Happy Valentine's Day and Stay Positive,
xo Coach Kat