I’ve been on and off various kinds of bed rest throughout my pregnancy —not because of anything obstetric thankfully but because of my Crohn’s. To make a long, long Braxton Hicks-filled story short, I went from being super excited that Cap and I were going to enjoy an exotic babymoon somewhere lush and piping hot, to being told that the closest I was getting to sounds of waves lapping on a coral beach was the sound of my toilet flushing.
I’m not going to lie. I cried.
Ok, I wept bitterly.
As the days passed and it became apparent that even a small trip wasn’t going to happen, I decided to get creative. So here are some ideas Cap and I have come up with to try and make the best of being stuck in bed.
Yes, even if you’re on pelvic rest it doesn’t necessarily mean that Fernando the pool boy can’t make a visit to your cabana and give you a fantastic massage. You can still get a delectable foot rub, do role play (ahem Doctor), watch steamy movies and wear fantastic lingerie when you’re on bed rest. That’s all I’m going to say — the rest is up to you and your imagination.
Netflix means you can totally swing a movie. Or 10,000. Feeling more adventurous? My favourite thing to do is to go to the drive in and depending on your resting orders you might be able to get away with it too. Give this a try. If you have a sports utility vehicle (I’ve done this in a Chevy Tahoe) you can back-in to your drive in spot, put the back seats down, lift the hatch up, and voila, you’re watching a movie from the coolest trunk-fort ever; sprawled out with room to spare.
When was the last time you read out loud? When was the last time someone read to you? This is such a soothing pastime. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Buzzfeed quiz or Maupassant. Try reading a script out loud together for fun. Or my favourite suggestion? The Princess Bride by William Goldman, of course.
This is something Cap came up with and that we do whenever we need a date night and it’s impossible to take one. It’s easy, it’s free, and it’s awesome. Both of you make a list of your top 20 favourite high school songs and then take turns loading them into Grooveshark. Then turn out the lights. Snuggle. Time-wise you can invest one song, or make it into an epic all-night human jukebox experience.
You’re welcome.
There’s always video games to taunt each other with, but sometimes keeping it simple is just as fun. If you ever wanted to play strip poker, now’s the time to do it, or Strip Monopoly a la Friday the 13th. Want to learn chess? Go for it. Strip Chess? Yes. My favourite? Cards Against Humanity. Strip Cards Against Humanity? Why not. Also? I HATE PANTS.
It’s virtually impossible for me to lie in bed and just not do anything. I am so 'Type A' that I can actually feel the universe start to collapse on itself if I stay still for more than 5 minutes. True story.
One of our solutions to have fun and spend creative time together is to make podcasts. This started last year when I was in hospital with my Crohns flare and we were bored out of our skulls. Now it’s no secret that I love video, but sometimes when you’re on bed rest you don’t feel like preening, or like being on screen at all. Podcasting is the perfect solution.
It’s a really fun way for us to do something together, great to document couples’ conversations and commemorate life stages, and (my favourite) you don’t have to go live with anything you shoot. Of course, we do, because it gives me something to look forward to. Check it out!
Another Cap classic – work your way through as many Academy winning flicks in chronological order. And yes, you should definitely add thematic outfits and meals to match.
There is no reason you can’t have a multi-course, candle light dinner in bed, and if your partner is not a great chef? No prob. Order in! Dress code should be in effect (no pjs allowed) and sparkling juice should be chilling by the bed. Fancy stemware is also a must. Throwing said stemware at a fireplace in a grand gesture is optional.
Yes. You can go outside. You can do it. Lie in the shade, set up a canvas canopy, pretend you’re on the Riviera. Throw on a frock and a pair of cat-eye sunnies and listen to a Henry Mancini soundtrack. (That’s Mancini. Not Manfredini. Unless, you know, you’re sitting on the shores of Crystal Lake and you have a great sense of irony.)
DO IT. If you are not on strict hospital bed rest, check in to a room with a view, get room service, watch movies, put on a monogrammed robe, and enjoy the silence with (or without) your partner. And yes it’s worth it, because this is your BABYMOON. And even though you might be looking at life from a horizontal vantage, it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it.
This is the last few weeks of alone time with your partner, or the few days you’ve managed to eek out because you already have kids. Now is not the time to dismiss your cravings for time together, it’s time to indulge.
Talk to your doc and see if these or any other ideas you have for your bed rest babymoon might work.
And remember, bed rest isn’t the end of the world. After all, it’s what got you here in the first place.
WAH WAAAAAAAH.
See? There's no right way to have a babymoon. Find out how our blogger Jen Warman spent her babymoon.
Why is my kid wetting the bed? Anxiety? Night Terrors? Or just too much milk? Who knows? Some people call it the Twilight Zone. I call it.... The WET SPOT.
“MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYY.”
There’s a tone to the cry that cuts through my sleep and I’m already out of bed, stumbling towards my kid before my eyes are even open.
“I had an acci- Mummy I peed… Mummy it’s all wet… it just came out…” I can hear little sobs punctuate each word.
I already know she is soaked through because I’ve knelt down to hold her and felt my hand slap loudly against a puddle of cold pee. Eww.
I quickly snap back to my kid’s wobbly chin and ‘why me’ vice grip hug. I know she’s upset, frustrated, and loathing our go-to clean up protocol as much as I do.
“It’s ok honey, it happens to everyone.” I say. I pick her up to soothe her, and immediately get two cold wet legs wrapped around my waist.
I’m not angry, I just feel like a mad scientist who has tried everything to prove a theory and keeps getting let down. I know she can do this. I know she can make it through the night without wetting the bed. We just have to find a way to do it. We might need to dabble in the occult to get there, but hey, what are a few incantations here or there if it means we all get a nice, long, uninterrupted, DRY sleep?
Sigh.
As a parent it’s not like you’re shocked by these kinds of messes. It comes with the territory from day one. Sometimes, you’re more shocked when the mess doesn’t occur.
We start out changing diapers like they’re complex pieces of origami, and move into a veteran phase where it becomes a test of endurance and agility to see how quickly we can get our kid clean. Any terrain. Any environment. Bring it.
And then potty training begins. The feeling of fragile victory and disbelief that you may not have to use diapers any more is pretty much the same as backing away slowly from an 18-story house of cards that you think will have more of a chance of staying in tact if you never breathe. AGAIN.
You know it can be done, you’ve seen your friends and their kids survive. Hell, you have been potty trained. You know firsthand that it works.
I can’t begin to tell you the relief when after months of ‘RUNRUNRUNRUN you can make it to the bathroom!’ and various other hits and misses, Vee was finally down to wearing her pull-ups over night. The end of "Diaperdom" was in sight. And then we got cocky. We went rogue.
We took away the safety net.
At first things were ok. I had a great arsenal: waterproof mattress protector, extra sheets, backup blanket, and tons of patience.
I knew my kid was prone to night terrors when she was sick or anxious and that this might cause accidents. I also knew that 1 in 6 kids between the ages of 4 and 12 suffer from enuresis or bed-wetting. I checked in with our family doctor for any insights before I took the leap. I asked solemnly for advice from parents online and in real life. We cut down on fluids before bed, went to the bathroom right before she got tucked in, and did a walkthrough of what to do if she had to pee at night. We even did a few dry runs. Dry runs. Oh the irony.
But at least 4 nights a week, I heard the pee alarm and like zombies, we’d go through the motions of soothing, stripping, washing, changing, and resetting my ‘days since last accident’ mental clock to zero.
I was starting to go to a bad place.
There’s got to be a reason for this. Is this an expression of anxiety? Is this some kind of regression? Is this kid code for ‘I hate you’? Is she still drinking too much before bed? Will this ever end?!
I tried protection pads but my little ninja would sleep-kick them and worm her feet under the adhesive strips. I had started to get a little punchy —angrily throwing the sheets into the front-loading washer and grunting my way through late nights. And then we hit rock bottom.
At 1am one fateful day, we got the ‘pee summons.’ One pair of sheets was already in the wash. I stripped these ones too, cleaned Vee up, and settled her back in.
And at 3am it happened again.
I had no more sheets, and no more hope. I sat there on the floor shell-shocked and crying along with my kid.
“Mummy I don’t want to wear diapers at night.”
“I know, honey.”
“Mummy… I just dreamt that I could go, so I went.”
“Uh huh.”
“Mummy if you show me how I can help you wash them.”
I looked over at my little 4-year-old and her big luminescent brown eyes and my frustration vanished. I scooped her little wet bum into my lap.
“Ok. We can do this together.”
We’re still fighting the good fight but things are easier.
If we have an accident Vee ‘helps me’ wash the sheets and make the bed again. She feels more in control that way. I also take her for a ‘sleep pee’ before I go to bed, sitting her on the toilet asleep before hefting her back upstairs. Of course now that I’m pregnant and getting bigger, this is getting more tricky.
I’m also using GoodNites TRU-FIT to help get us to our dry nights, every night goal. They’re washable, cotton-blend real reusable undies with awesome protective inserts that catch accidents as we trade in the ‘sleep pees’ for just...sleep.
She loves them because they’re not diapers. I’m happy because I’m not doing laundry at 2am.
Of course I can look forward to starting from scratch once my new baby makes his grand entrance. Face palm.
“It’s ok Mum. I can teach him to pee on the potty.” Vee says confidently and I smile.
Looks like that house of cards is holding up just fine.
One in six children between the ages of 4-12 suffer from enuresis, also known as bedwetting.
YMC Blogger, Dr. Kim Foster shares tips on how to get through your child's bedwetting phase.
YMC Members going through or who have been through a bedwetting phase with their child share their smart strategies.
GoodNites* TRU-FIT* can help you and your child get through bedwetting.
GoodNites* TRU-FIT* are washable, cotton-blend real underwear that are durable and reusable for outstanding nighttime protection. They are accompanied by a disposable, absorbent insert designed to protect sheets and PJs all night.
This is proudly sponsored by our friends at GoodNites*.
www.tru-fit.ca
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