Kat Inokai: Trying Times


3 Tips for a 'Trying-To-Conceive' Mother’s Day

Celebrate You, Now.

I remember feeling totally jipped by Mother’s Day while I was trying for Baby Girl.

I knew I wasn’t a mom yet but come on. No wine, no soft cheeses, no caffeine, no sushi..and I had to sit there as my family toasted every freaking mother on the planet adding sweetly-intentioned supportive comments like ‘..and soon, God willing, Kat will be a mother too..”

The applause and clinks of glasses softly blurred the sound of my head hitting the table repeatedly. Kill. Me. Now.

I know you know what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you’re there now. Maybe you don’t want to admit it, but don’t worry, I’ll admit for you..

The ‘Mother’s Day Honourable Mention Club’ sucks.


As soon as you’re pregnant, people begin to swarm you with attention and advice. You’re part of the inner sanctum. If you're sporting a bump, it’s like Mother’s Day kicks off the entire ritualistic hazing ceremony of being a mom. But until you get that Big Fat Positive, you are sitting at the kiddy-table of life, my friends. And it can blow.

So here are 3 things you can do to celebrate that you are about to embark on the most sleepless and amazing period of your lives...but you haven’t arrived there yet.

Drink Up and Get Raw

If you have just gotten your negative and have cramps that make you sound like Zuul (think Ghostbusters) then break out the vino and order in the slinkiest sashimi you can muster.  You can drink guilt free and forget about Listeria. Break out the good stuff and enjoy every second.

Wine expert Susan Sterling (Sterling Wine Consultants, Foodnetwork.ca’s Grape Notes, Naked Wine Show) says “Go big or go home. Get out a bottle of something serious and/or exotic.  Brunello di Montalcino, Amarone, classed-growth Bordeaux, Chablis, Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon, or one of the proprietary white blends that have come along recently, i.e. Conundrum.  It’s time to get out whatever bottle (or bottles) you’ve been saving, waiting for the right moment.  This is that moment.”


Get Kinky

Go on. Get a little crazy.  Get down and dirty without looking at your ovulation chart first. Have a night of it. Do it on the kitchen floor.  Recreate 91/2 Weeks, get your Hentai on, and break out the vintage porn if that’s what does it for you. Get wild. You know why? Because I very much doubt that you will ever find out what is actually going on Behind the Green Door once you are a mom. Chances are your date nights — especially of the steamy variety— will be a little less, um, available to you for a while. So blast the Isaac Hayes and remember that a night of flagrante delicto with your partner is going to be way more satisfying then a card, chocolates, slippers, or gift certificate could ever be when you have your Sleep Doula on speed dial. You. Are. Welcome.

Stay Up Late and Sleep In

Biting your nails during the 2-week wait and feeling like you can’t do anything ‘crazy’? No prob. This Non-Mother’s Day do yourself a big favour. Grab a bucket of your favourite snacks, park yourself in front of the TV so you can watch hours of your favourite guilty-secret type programming—mine was watching Jem and the Holograms, Twin Peaks, and Season 5 of old-school 90210—and let yourself sleep in the next morning until you naturally wake up. When you open your eyes and hear blessed silence, and don’t pull various action figurines and kitchen utensils from under your pillow and/or ribs, you won’t really know what you’re not missing. But savour every moment just the same.


Finally, whether you’re a mom or not, remember this: Motherhood is a state of mind.

It’s about nurturing, growing, loving, inspiring, and being there for the ones you love. 

You deserve to celebrate yourself no matter what.

Stay Positive!

XO Kat