Kat Inokai: Trying Times


50 Things I Need To Tell My Kid

Life Moves Too Fast Sometimes

Recently it feels like I’ve been living in a pinball machine. I’m noisily bouncing between clients, projects, emotions, and baggage. In moments of clarity I’m actually astounded by the fact that I’m a separated toddler-mom/creative entrepreneur, and producing a short film while basically living out of a suitcase.

Last year this time I was pregnant. I was married. I had no idea that only a couple weeks later I'd be going through my 2nd miscarriage of the year. I had no idea that Hubs and I would drift into a different context, or how quickly Baby Girl would move from being my baby to being my little girl.

Life moves fast.

So fast, that I get scared I’m going to forget to teach Baby Girl the really important stuff.

Stuff like:

  1. You can never have too many white tank tops.
  2. It actually IS a little better to be over dressed than underdressed.
  3. No one actually notices the last 5 lbs that you want to lose.
  4. Remember, your hair will always grow back.
  5. Don’t waste one second being ashamed of something you want.
  6. We have one life (possibly). That thing you want to do? Do it.
  7. Saying ‘no’ adds value to the things you say ‘yes’ to.
  8. That shitty thing you’re going through? It doesn’t define you. Nor does it make you unique. The way you deal with it does.
  9. You’re never too old for comics, cartoons, sugary cereal, and playing with toys.
  10. You’re never too old to pretend or dress up.
  11. Some people adapt quickly to change but don’t do so well with transition. Some people do well with transition, but aren’t so great with change. Once you figure out who’s who, life in general will get a zillion times easier.
  12. You don’t always have to say ‘I love you.’
  13. You don’t always have to say ‘I’m sorry.’
  14. You, the way you are right now, faults and all, is the only way you have to be to find your soul mate. Don’t be anyone else.
  15. Consciously ‘not playing a game’ is still playing a game.
  16. Don’t ever spend more than 10 minutes thinking about what you’re going to wear to an event. Once you’re there, no one actually cares, remembers, or notices.
  17. Everyone farts and poops. Remember that next time you’re feeling self conscious in a public bathroom or in a house with thin walls, and let it rip.
  18. We’ve all been ‘the asshole’ in someone’s story. Don’t feel bad about it, just own it.
  19. If you don’t want to go somewhere, say you don’t want to go. Don’t make up an excuse or lie about why you ‘can’t.’
  20. Every second is a fresh start. You can stop being a bitch, pissed off, or cranky any time.
  21. No one actually knows everything.
  22. Sometimes you just need to stay in and order a pizza.
  23. If you haven’t actually seen something, read something, heard something, or been somewhere, don’t say you have just to be cool. You’ll end up missing out and you’ll come across like a dick later on.
  24. Never pass up the chance to see live music.
  25. The people that care about you the most are going to tell you the things that are hardest to hear.
  26. Ask for what you want. Seriously. Just ask.
  27. Everyone wants something, and that’s ok.
  28. You’re the only one who knows your priorities. If someone else tells you what they should be, they’re actually just telling you theirs.
  29. There’s a big difference between settling down, and feeling secure.
  30. It’s ok to want roots and wings. That’s what life’s about.
  31. Everyone lies.
  32. If at all possible, try and be honest with yourself about when you’re lying to yourself.
  33. If you love someone, tell them. Life’s too short to be worried about their reception.
  34. If a server gets your order wrong, send it back to the kitchen.
  35. Sometimes giving a hug is worth so much more than saying anything at all.
  36. If you want to break up with someone, break up with them. Don’t wait until they break up with you. That really sucks.
  37. From time to time we fall into ruts and tell ourselves how ugly/fat/stupid/worthless/hopeless we are. When you hear that monologue, tell it to piss off. Life is waiting.
  38. Anyone can be a knockout.
  39. Cookie, muffin, and cake batters must be licked from spoons and mixing bowls whenever possible.
  40. You should totally try putting potato chips in your sandwich.
  41. Whenever you feel left out in a group, remember that everyone else has also felt left out in a group. Relax, it’ll come back to you.
  42. Learn how to pronounce Anglicized foreign words in their native languages even if you never use them. It's not snobby, it's respectful.
  43. Pick your battles.
  44. Don’t be afraid of winning.
  45. It’s ok to feel uncomfortable. That means you’re learning something.
  46. If you are able to burst into song spontaneously with the people around you, you’ve found friends for life.
  47. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you and that’s harder to accept than if it did.
  48. At least once in your life stay up to watch the sun rise.
  49. If you give up when you think ‘it’s all for nothing’ then it really will be.
  50. Believe. Breathe. And jump in...Repeat.


Stay Positive,

XO Kat