Kat Inokai: Trying Times

Sep
16
2012

Annoying Social Media Alert: Facebook Wedding Anniversaries

A Snarky Rant About a Trend That Makes Me Want to Punch Things

Something has been getting to me recently. The whole ‘it’s my anniversary so I’m changing my profile and/or cover picture’ to a generic wedding photo. Gah.

Look, I am the first person to go through your photos when I become your Facebook friend. I’m a total and self-admitted social media voyeur and I have no plans to stop formulating theories and opinions on your life based on nothing but Instagram pics of the food you eat and your most recent status updates.

But this whole ’12 years ago I met my best friend and I never let her go’ stuff seriously makes me want to send you job placement ads for greeting card companies, and then Unfriend you.

I get it, by the way. This is all my issue.

I am completely jaded and angst ridden due to my recent separation, and in all fairness when I see one of the aforementioned ‘Anniversary Statuses’ my initial response is still a belaboured ‘Awwwwww.’ But then it quickly turns to ‘Uggggggh’ and then I’m just thinking ‘HULK SMAAAAAAASH’.

Is it jealousy? Perhaps.

Exposure to Gamma radiation? Likely.

Ok, ok, ok. Fine. You got me.

I am actually a succor for your love stories. It keeps me going. It really does. Anniversaries are awesome. They’re amazing. And I totally get the whole Facebook broadcast agenda that is our lives right now and why people feel compelled to adapt their timelines to every little thing that goes on in their lives.

Full disclosure? I am totally one of those people.

But I needed to vent. And I'm sure I'm not alone.

In this new era of realtime communication isn't it just something we should all keep in mind? I mean I'm pretty sure you hate my 9000th Star Wars meme, and I am just admitting that I'm going through a teen angst phase with your anniversary pics.

 

Let’s just be honest and put that out there. Am I right? 

Can we still be friends?

For your Facebook/Tweet-iquette Easy Reference, I have formulated what I consider a list of other inappropriate status update anniversary celebrations that I think you might want to look at.

  1. Briss
  2. Bankruptcy
  3. 1st Period
  4. Loss of Virginity
  5. Arrest
  6. Contraction of STD
  7. 1st Punch in the Face Due to Facebook Status Update

 

If you can think of any others, put them in the comments.

We’re totally going to go viral with this.. I can feel it.

As always, even when you are cranky and jaded -

Stay Positive,

XO Kat