Kat Armstrong: Celebritease


Celebrity Baby Names

Names that prove celebs AREN'T like you and me

Ah, baby names. There is very little more jarring than hearing awful baby names. Our first thoughts are always "poor kid!" followed quickly by "WTF?" And while some are just too bizarre for words (Halcyon and Astala, anyone?), some celebs are getting it right while others are, in my humble opinion, being strange for strange's sake.

The Good

Penelope Scotland (Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick) I know what you are thinking..."Penelope Scotland? Have you lost your mind, Kat?" Maybe. But hear me out. Penelope is a beautiful ancient Greek name from myth (one I've personally always loved—but we pronounce it Pen-e-lope-eh) and Scotland is my other ancestral heritage. I think I'm biased, but Penny Scotland is a cute name for a little girl, no?

Maxwell Drew (Jessica Simpson & Eric Johnson) Something I've always loved (we can blame my mum for this one) is girls with boy's names. And before you get all weird about it—Shannon is a boy's name, as is Heather. Little girls named Max, Georgie, Charlie and Freddie have always been sweet and allowed the girl to stand out. Maxwell is great, and a little more modern than Maxine, I think.

Harper (Bill Hader & Maggie Carey). Harper Lee wrote To Kill a Mockingbird. She was an amazing author and strong woman in the time before women had as much power as they do now. Love this name for a girl. (This is also Posh and Beck's little girl's name.)

Samuel Garner (Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck) Baby Samuel was born earlier this year and has two older sisters: Serafina and Violet. I like the nod to Jen's family name (we did a similar thing with Henry & my maiden name) and the classic names, which are starting to make a comeback, show that they are classic for a reason!


The Questionable

Luca Cruz (Hilary Duff & Mike Comrie) I'm not sure I like this name, and I'm not sure why. Luca Cruz Comrie just seems like an odd mouthful. But, he's an ADORABLE little guy, and he can always be called Luke if he so choses.

Pearl Clementine (Jack Osbourne & Lisa Stelly) I love the old names, but this one seems a little too over the top with the middle name. Pearl is a great name, but what happens if they start calling her Clem? CLEM.

Dixie Pearl (Caleb Followill & Lilly Aldrege) Another downhome country name I'm not sure about. Dixie sounds like a prostitute from Deadwood (maybe Trixie had a twin sister?).


The Bad

Bastian Kick (Jeremy Sisto & Addie Lane) What in the actual fuck? No words. His daughter from his previous marriage is named Charlie Ballerina. I am shaking my head so hard right now.

Ethel Mary (Lilly Allen & Sam Cooper) I love old names, but some of them don't need a comeback. Ethel is one of them. Allen is pregnant again, so what will the next one be called? Gertrude?

Maple Sylvie (Jason Bateman & Amanda Anka) Sure, they're both Canadian (wife Amanda is the daughter of legendary crooner Paul Anka) but Maple? Maple Sylvie sounds an AWFUL lot like Maple Syrup. Poor girl.

Blue Ivy (Beyonce & Jay-Z) Why? When Blue was first born, I thought her name was Ivy Blue and I thought "that's really cute" cause Ivy is a great name. But no. Blue Ivy. Supposedly inspired by some blue ivy that Bey took a photo of while on vacation. Yep, that's a thing.


So spill it! What are some of your favourite celebrity baby names?


Photo via Life & Style