When you think about it, Halloween is a pretty messed up occasion. All year long we drill it into our kids not to accept gifts or candy from strangers—except for that one solitary night when we actively encourage it!
But dressing up and collecting vats of junk food is a rite of passage for children, and those with special needs should be no exception. With a little advance prep, Halloween doesn't have to be a nightmare on Elm (or whatever street you happen live at).
Have you seen the latest superhero to join the ranks of comic book greats? Sure, like all superheroes, he has extraordinary powers, such as a "mathematical mind, artistic gift and an abundance of compassion." And like all superheroes, saving the world from heinous villains is all in a day's work.
Imagine you have a million things to say, but are petrified every single time you open your mouth. Even introducing yourself fills you with such monumental dread, you avoid parties and social situations.
Richard Dawkins ruffled more than my own feathers recently. The world's most famous atheist suggested that when it comes to birthing a child with Down Syndrome, there is no ethical dilemma. His advice was simple:
As a rule, I don’t read anymore—books about autism, I mean. Initially, like any parent reeling at their child's diagnosis, I devoured everything I could get my hands on. But the books were either too academic or too preachy or, let's face it, too bleak.
As far as relationships go, mine *touches wood* is pretty solid. I never really related to all that talk about marriage being onerous. For many years it was a cinch. Then, fast forward nearly 10 years, my husband and I decided to start a family. And all bets were off.
How does your child deal with anger and frustration? For a long time my answer would have involved thrashing legs, clenched fists, and crashing objects. I'm happy to report that isn't so much the case lately.
Some children (and, to be fair, adults!) are slow to evolve out of the tantrum phrase we typically associate with the "terrible twos." Often in children with autism, anxiety translates into angry outbursts.
We are lucky to live in an age of increasing autism awareness. Still, in spite of all the awareness—and a cornucopia of books on ASD—there are very few kids books out there that focus on teaching the child to appreciate and value himself.
While it's obviously crucial to educate family and friends about autism, to my mind, it's equally (if not more) important to foster self-esteem in the child with the disorder.
If it's not one Ford brother, it's the other. Seriously it's like a tag team of cringe. Doug is currently grabbing headlines while his more famous brother—disgraced mayor Rob—visits rehab via cottage country.
Dogs are amazing creatures. Service dogs, doubly so. Not only do dogs make loving and loyal family members, they are literally life-changing—and in some cases, life-saving—for people with special needs.
No, not that one, although it too sickens me. I'm talking about the word 'normal.' It doesn't fit my son, and quite frankly it has never fit me, either. Suffice to say, my grasp on normal is pretty tenuous.
From the moment my baby was born—thanks to a plethora of parenting books and websites—like many new moms I became hyper-conscious of norms and developmental milestones which I tracked meticulously.
Bullying has always been a problem. But for the cyber generation, with so much going on behind screens, bullying is THE problem. The facelessness of social media has become a breeding ground for bullies.
And kids with special needs make easy targets. Those with autism are especially vulnerable—four times as likely to be bullied as those without the disorder—because of the challenges they experience with social communication.
Autism is growing, and with this latest spike reported in the U.S. (30 percent in just two years), nobody can keep up. All the time and money being invested in finding a cure is creating a vacuum of lost children, most of them boys. What happens to these kids once they get handed their piece of paper? Let me tell you what happened to us. Lots of phone calls with various coordinators, informing us of services we could apply for. Then nothing.
You know what they say about life giving you lemons... Well, it's one thing learning to accept—even celebrate—life with a child who has special needs. But is it possible to stare a disorder like autism in the face, and manage to laugh about it?
What's your biggest safety concern for your child?
When my husband was around my son's age, he was already going to the corner store unaccompanied, armed with a shopping list for his nan. For sure those were different times. Sending my son through the front door by himself seems so far off, as parents we can't wrap our heads around it.
When people told me getting a puppy would be stressful, I almost laughed out loud. Really? Like parenting a little guy with autism kind of stressful? Needless to say, I took their warnings with a pinch. The hard part, admittedly, is managing both the boy and the pup together.
My son’s love affair—and mine for that matter—with LeapFrog began back in 2010 when I stumbled upon a Phonics Pond at a consignment store. Even though my son was only 18 months old at the time, I bought it, figuring the music might amuse him until he got old enough to learn his ABCs. Well, much to my amazement, he quickly learned the sounds individual letters make, and went on to become an early reader.
As much as I’d like to take the credit for that triumph, I know it was partially LeapFrog's doing.
We parents are a weird lot when it comes to traditions, aren't we? Think about it. We urge our kids not only to approach a total stranger in a dodgy-looking red velour suit (an otherwise frowned upon activity 364 days a year), we tell him to climb onto the bearded man's LAP as he Ho, Ho, Hollers. No wonder even the most easygoing kid isn't necessarily cool with the arrangement.
When it comes to special needs, there seems to be two schools of parenting: one that aims to understand and accept and another that seeks to change or cure. My philosophy tends to align with the former. I'm done with laying blame. I'm done with reading up on the latest possible cause or the hottest new "remedy" for autism.
