According to the 10,000 hour rule popularized by Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers, I should be an expert parent more than three times over by now. I mean, I've immersed myself in this gig, man. Four years as a Dad and nary a night off and yet, here I sit, seemingly still as clueless as I was on day one.
I wrote a few weeks ago about how I've decided that my instincts suck, which renders almost useless the "trust your instincts" advice most other parents seem to fall back to offering up when you lament your parenting chops. My instincts usually end up in me yelling, escalating, and generally leaving my wife having to deal with two raging people. My instincts make things worse.
Now don't get me wrong, I have great instincts when it comes to things like making her laugh. I'm great at being a Dad when she's a happy, curious, and generally well-mannered kid. It's just the times that she's coming a bit unglued that my fall-backs fall apart. You know. When it actually matters.
So, in an attempt to make a change, I'm marking my kid's fourth birthday by trying to usher in an era of acceptance of my own limitations and shortcomings. I intend to embrace my incompetence and acknowledge that maybe there's a better way. I'll try to spot the signs that I, too, am coming unglued, and channel a good parent before I lose my cool.
Time to reset the clock, Mr. Gladwell. Only 9,999 hours and 58 minutes to go.
Photo Credit: Thomas Depenbusch via Compfight cc
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