Joe Boughner: The Naked Dad


I Am a Stereotype

Without even realizing it, I've become the Dopey Dad

In the beginning it was all so easy.

The kid watched three, maybe four shows with any regularity. She had a handful of reliable toys. She had her go-to books. It was manageable. 

But now? It seems like she's discovering something new every day. "Daddy, can I watch My Big Big Friend?" What the hell is a big big friend? Wait, what's she watching now? And why does that rolling elephant sound like Fry from Futurama

And it's not just television shows. Have you heard of Lalaloopsies? Did you know there were no fewer than 821 different characters? I do - cause my daughter apparently has each and every one as a miniature action figure.

And so it happened. I turned into Dopey Dad. 

"Well well well, who do we have here? Sprinkle Sugar Cookie?"

<Heavy sigh that has no business coming out of a three year old>

"No Daddy, that's Crumbs Sugar Cookie. Her sister is Sprinkle Spice Cookie."

"Oh. Well which one has the pet cat?"

"Oh Daddy, the cat belongs to Harmony B. Sharp."

It's at this point that she usually decides I'm too far gone and wonders off to find Mommy.

I remember being a kid and wondering how on earth my Dad could run a pulp mill but not know the difference between a Super Nintendo and a Sega Genesis. Or being embarassed when he'd ask about a band I hadn't listened to in years. "How could be be so clueless?" I'd wonder. Now I get it. 

Dad, I'm sorry.