Less than 160 days lie between today's overcast skies and the sparkling night of wonder which is sure to be the July 15th 2016 premiere of Ghostbusters, that Lady Version.
The revamp promises to be a hit, and I have my drive-in snacks planned already (Thermos Sloppy Joes and beef jerky). How can this thing not be a blockbuster? The "buster" roles now belong to Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, Melissa McCarthy, and Kate McKinnon. And taking over the role of secretary — ahem, administrative assistant — previous played by Annie Potts as Janine Melnitz is Chris Helmsworth.
If you weren't going to this movie before, you're online looking for presale tickets right now.
Yes, Thor himself is now the mighty Kevin, dude-who-gets-coffee-and-probably-rolls-his-eyes-a-lot.
#whoyougonnacall pic.twitter.com/hnrSjhCqSl
— Paul Feig (@paulfeig) July 10, 2015
Let's all just take a second to appreciate writer and director Paul Feig for getting behind this picture. He has doggedly defended casting choices to angry mobs of (mostly) men, upset that their beloved Ghostbusters franchise now has a tampon dispenser on location. Sorry, fellas, seems like women can actually make money in movies now and you know, we need to buy tampons. Haven't heard about the vitriol over the revamp? Check it out if you have the stomach for it. Remember how mad everyone got when they made the all-male Ghostbusters? Or the all male every-other-movie released ever? Right. We went and watched and appreciated how cool these films were and now they can do that same in turn.
And for Helmsworth to be a part of this venture in all his prior Avengers glory? To have some fun and play the role-reversal? Love him hard for it.
Image Source: Sony Pictures, Twitter
I consider myself to be a reasonable, rational person. I'm not prone to fits of rage (mostly), but nothing makes me see red like people who discuss "push presents" without making the universal "finger down the throat" puking sign.
For those of you blissfully unaware of such things, a push present is a gift presented to a woman by her partner after the successful delivery of a child. I'm not talking about a bouquet of flowers or a small trinket or, as in my case, a roast-beef sandwich with horseradish mayonnaise, mind you. Lavish push presents have taken on a culture of conspicuous consumption all their own, with gifts like diamond rings and new cars not being unheard of. The discussion of the gift-to-come sometimes overshadows the event itself, sort of how the honeymoon eclipses the wedding. The gift comes as recognition of the "suffering" the woman has endured throughout her pregnancy and the subsequent delivery, and its dollar value is often aligned with the amount of pain or complications related to the pregnancy.
I know from experience that pregnancy isn't always an ant-free picnic in a sunny meadow. Sometimes it means puking on a co-workers desk because they didn't think you were serious when you sent an internal email titled "PLEASE FOR THE SWEET LOVE OF GOD, NO TUNA SANDWICHES IN THE BREAK ROOM." It can also be unrelenting heartburn capable of melting iron from weeks 2-40. Or only being able to eat Beef-a-Roni and pink lemonade even though you hate those things. Pregnancy sucks sometimes and that's just the way it is.
But the idea by some that women are owed a substantial gift for "suffering" through pregnancy and delivery is both antiquated and chauvinistic. It reduces a woman to her reproductive function by remunerating the fruits of her labor — but the labor already bore the fruit (baby). Push presents make pregnancy and childbirth a commodity, and it's only two bus stops and a transfer from commodity to "worth." Designating something a "push present" differentiates it from other gifts like birthday gifts in that they are a reward for the "push," whereas a birthday gift is a celebration of life. Baby showers or gifts given in celebratory preparation for the baby serve a function, whereas a ruby necklace doesn't seem very practical for a new parent.
Google "Push Presents" and you'll find countless websites offering extravagant ideas for dads-to-be that are absolutely beyond ludicrous. But even if the gift was something reasonable, to imply that fathers or partners are actually obligated to purchase elaborate gifts for post-natal women also implies "payment" for a healthy baby. Payment is made for an exchange of goods. A baby is not a good, and women are more than a vessel/delivery service.
And the term "Push Present" itself is dismissive of babies who come to families by other means. Babies arrive through adoption and surrogacy, cesarean section, and I think I've even heard a story about a reed basket floating in a river. The women and men who become parents through non-traditional means are every bit as much parents as those who pushed them out of a uterus.
I've been pregnant and have two children who did not seem to enjoy their gestational time inside my body. One got bored around 30 weeks in and thought "Hey! You know what this party needs? Some pre-eclampsia!" I then spent the next six weeks lying on my left side in a hospital where everyone hated me because I snored like a lumberjack and this was before the internet and Candy Crush. My next baby tried to claw his way out and once kicked me so hard in-utero while I was bathing that water rocked over the side of the tub. So yeah; pregnancy and delivery super-sucks a lot of the time. If you're lucky, at the end of it all you get a beautiful child who is going to drive you ape-shit crazy for the next 65 years of your life until you finally die of exhaustion or bankruptcy.
Sorry parents, that is your push present.
This is Canada. It's going to get cold in the winter, and chances are, there is going to be snow - sometimes a lot of it. As much as hibernating between January 1st and April 15th sounds enticing, you'll miss out on a lot of fun if that's the route you take. Get outside! Do the things you do any other time of the year! As long as you are dressed appropriately, the snow season has as much to offer as the warmer months, and possibly even more!
While it's unlikely you'll be hanging out on the beach mid-February, you can still hit the water! If you're feeling adventurous, why not try one of the many Polar Bear dips? Maybe you'll even earn yourself a cool nickname like Freddie Popsicle Pants. The street cred of such a moniker is not to be underrated. Hit Google for a list of swims in your area, and pride yourself on the size of your (now shriveled) bravado.
We know that getting outside and spending time in the community is important for our health and sense of community spirit. But think about how often you talk to people in your neighbourhood in February. Chances are, you're running from your front door to the car, with nary a nod to your frozen neighbour. There are people on my street who I only see evidence of in June, July, and August. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. Humans need to see, talk, and have fun with one another during the summer AND winter. Enter Family Snow Day, eh?
Family Snow Day is a great opportunity to get outside and have fun in the winter - all while helping others. The Canadian Cancer Society is hosting several Family Snow Day, eh! events in the GTA, and at the same time, fundraising for the Snowball Fund - a fund dedicated to helping families affected by cancer.
I was only a small girl when my grandmother had cancer, but I remember hearing the news and how it caught in my father's throat when he told us. Even without knowing the details, I could realize back then that cancer was a terrible thing. She recovered - she was lucky - but cancer is something we all think about and worry about to this day. Family Snow Day, eh gives families the opportunity to try something new this winter (Snowshoe! Snowboard! Ski!) while providing much needed funds to help families who may not be as fortunate as mine.
You can participate in Toronto on February 15 at Todmorden Mills, or in Milton on February 21 at Country Heritage Park.
Also, I hear there will be snacks. Panago Pizza, Panera Bread, and Second Cup will all be on hand. There will also be supervised stations for kids to make s'mores, maple taffy on ice, and more!
If your dog won't come when you call, and avoids eye contact for more than a day or two, you know why: you haven't taken her outside in two weeks, have you? Come on! Nightly walks are not just a mild weather pursuit. There's something about the sweet crunch of snow underfoot in the incubating silence of a winter's night that makes an after-dark winter walk special in a way no July stroll can ever hope to be. It's cold, it's quiet, it's peaceful. Besides, didn't our grandmothers tell us that cold air was good for the lungs? Or was it that it would put hair on our chests? No matter, either way.
Load the layers on (you and the dog!) and hit the sidewalk. The winter at night is a special place and you shouldn't forget what your neighbourhood looks like after dark just because it's dark by 5pm. The kids will love the magic of going outside for a pre-bedtime stroll and they'll sleep better to boot! Pull little ones in a sled, and bring on the rosy cheeks!
Wing it. Don't have a plan. Throw it at the wall and see what sticks.
Behold the Mighty "Ice Chopping" Machine:
This is what happens when you don snow pants and hit the backyard with no plans. In the summer, this tactic may lead to tree climbing or hide and seek, but when the leaves are off the trees and everything is bare, poke around the garage and yard and see what you can find. The machine above came about when my 10 year-old and his friend re-purposed a bike destined for the metal scrap yard. Yes- those are scissors stuck in the snow off to the left.
Snow should be considered an added feature to outside play - not a hindrance. A little imagination and some simple tools (string, scissors, branches, etc.) can lead to a lifetime of memories recalling the special fun winter play brought. Be sure to clean up any clutter afterwards. You'll have so much fun outside you won't even remember what "June" is.
There's no reason to end the outdoor fun when you come home from the toboggan hill. Your BBQ still works in the winter and you can use it for heat! You can also check your local bylaws, because many urban centres now allow closed fires in backyards, like in a chiminea. Simmer hot chocolate in a pot on the BBQ and start a small fire for backyard winter s'mores.
For the extra adventurous, host a full-on BBQ party! String some outdoor lights and wind them around trees in the yard. Huddle around on lawn chairs or pick up some hay bales from a farm supply house or nursery. Serve small nibbles to ensure they're eaten hot off the grill because a traditional plate of food will go cold. Try kabobs and corn on the cob. Anything you can eat with mittens goes! Form a circle and huddle up for some amazing winter memories.
Sure, the neighbours may think you're crazy, eating and entertaining outside in the middle of February, but they never bring their trash cans in until four days past pick up, so don't be too concerned with their seal of approval.
And as a bonus, snowy winter BBQ parties means no lawn care is needed and you can finally put the lawnmower away!
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