How to Give Your Kids An 80s Style Canadian Summer

Summers are fun no matter your age or time period you live in. (Except maybe The Middle Ages or Ye Olden Biblical Times. Things looked pretty shitty all-around back then.) But there was just something extra special about summertime in the 80s that made it feel different, in a good way. Or is that just my 26 residual 80s sunburns talking?

Here's to the past, and a look at some of the things we could use today (most are still around) to bring back the era of sweet, sweet summertime fun.

IMAGE SOURCE: JOEKELSEY VIA WIKI COMMONS

Sears Velour Romper Short Set

Three of these in assorted colours (with piping trim) came to the local Sears pick-up location every July without fail for my sister and I, and became our summer go-to outfits. Man, we romped a lot in those days, or at least I did (until my boobs came in and my romping days were over.)

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Banana Seat Bike

Great for doubling Tina to Beckers to return pop bottles so you could buy Kisko Kids.

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Skip- It

In a pinch it doubles as a great whacking tool when your jerk cousin told everyone in the tree fort you had your first period.

Comes second in line only to apple juice can stilts as my summer toy fave.

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Dickie Dee

Some people talk about "how things are just different now," and I never really knew what that meant until I heard about Dickie Dee being permananetly parked because their drivers were being mugged.

Thanks a lot, ice cream money stealing assholes; you've ruined the best part of a Canadian summer for generations of kids born after 1984.

IMAGE SOURCE: JOEKELSEY VIA WIKI COMMONS

TV Antenna

If you stood still on a hot day in any suburban backyard around 12:55pm, you'd hear the wailing call of the turn of the TV tower, as moms and babysitters everywhere tuned in to The Young & the Restless. That creaky call was like our batsignal, except it warned us that no one should knock on a door or make a parental request for at least the next hour, barring incidents of blood or fire.

IMAGE SOURCE: DANIEL CHRISTENSEN VIA WIKI COMMONS

Freshie

The liquid that kept us going all summer!

Oh, what's that? Your mom made Kool-Aid? I bet she used a whole cup of sugar just like the package instructed, too, didn't she? Must be nice. We drank the cheaper Freshie brand at my house, so why don't you get on your pony and ride back to tennis camp, Richie Rich?

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Sun In

Hey Kids! Do you want luxurious golden locks, remniscent of a sun-kissed All-American surfer girl? Well, you're shit outta luck. Here, try this product instead. Your sun-fried cripsy orange hair is bound to get tongues wagging, and possibly land you a big Friday night date with your mom's best friend Helen, who runs a basement underground "hair salon."

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Tanning Oil

Hawaiian Tropic, Coppertone, baby oil or butter...choose your poison. Back when "sunscreen" was something your mom put up on the porch windows, we used this stuff to achieve "that summer glow." Man the 80s were greasy. And what up with the horrible racist ads, marketers?

Noxema

For the sunburn you got because you used too much Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning oil. Also known as the Official Smell of Summer '84.

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Jams Shorts

You know, for all your 80s summertime jammin' needs.

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Dr. Scholls Clogs

Nothing makes me more nostalgic for childhood summers than the smooth instep of a Dr. Scholl's "exercise" sandal. The loud thunk thunk thunk punctuated our walk and announced our arrival like a band of miniature dirt-and-freezie-juice-covered warriors.

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