Jen Warman: New Freakin' Mummy


Hip Hip Hooray For Sleep

"The world is a much brighter and happier place"

You know those ads that say "all you need is cheese?" 

Well I beg to differ. 

"All you need is SLEEP!"

Holy f*cking shit balls of fire—I just had 10.5 hours of sleep with only two feeding interruptions. The world is a much brighter and happier place!

I literally bounced out of bed like Tigger this morning. While taking the dog for a pee, I practically sang "good morning!" to my neighbours as they hastily climbed into their cars on their way to work. Work is for SUCKERS! Sleep is for WINNERS! I don't even care if that doesn't make sense because when you're on cloud 9, you don't need to make sense. You only need to sleep! (See what I mean?)

I feel so ambitious! I could clean the whole house! I could go for a 10k run (if I ran). I could make hand-made thank you cards for my baby shower attendees: with glitter and all! I could bake a pie (if I baked pies). Oh the glory of a good night's sleep! I could even have sex!! Twice! (Okay, let’s not get too carried away. Let’s say once. But I’d go on top!)

Colours just seem more vibrant today. Every song (including bad TV commercial jingles) make me want to dance "I'm the cash man! Give you money for your Gold Ohhh Yeahhh!" 

I’m so excited, I think I just farted a rainbow. 

Life is amazing when you have a good night's sleep. 

I'm pretty sure I could stub my toe right now and just laugh it off.

My husband could wash whites with reds, and I'd give him a hug—just for trying! 

If someone cut me off in traffic, I would probably just smile and say "They need to get to where they're going more than I do. It's okay." 

Ahhh. Sleep. My new best friend.

I'm going to have an affair with sleep. I'm going to sleep with sleep. Get it? 

I'm even more funny when I sleep.

Hells F*cking YES to sleep.

This is where I end my post with a celebratory dance:

(cue music)

double fist-pump, cartwheel, somersault, Carlton-Banks dance, Elaine-from-Seinfeld dance, round-off & stick the landing—gymnast style! Ten out of ten. I take a bow. 


Now tell me, what do you do when you get a good night's sleep?