Jen Warman: New Freakin' Mummy


Confessions Of A Weird Mama


As I sit here with my baby snuggled up on my chest asleep, I'm stroking his peach fuzzy head with my lips. I feel like a cat grooming her kittens. lt's one of my favourite things to do. I close my eyes and inhale the baby smell as I mould his hair into a mini mohawk with my lips. Strange? Perhaps. But us mothers do tons of strange things. We sing strange songs, we make strange faces, and we have strange "tricks of the trade" to help our babies sleep, eat, feel comforted etc...

I've always known that I'm weird, but I've embraced that weirdness even more as a new mom. 

Here are some of the things I do on any given day:

I make up songs that are really bad. Seriously. I'm normally good at making-up clever rhyming songs on the spot (thank you improv experience) but when it comes to singing to Cole, for some reason my songs suck. Maybe it's cuz I sing so many in a day? They usually sound something like this:

"Cole is a baby, who has a head. He sleeps in a bed. Look at his feet—they're small. Maybe they're big. Do you want to wear a wig?"

Yeah. Terrible. The worst part is that I have no musical ability, so there is no tune either. It's horrendous and awful. It pains me to hear myself sing these horrible songs - yet I do. I should really just put in the customized CD that Candace gave me and be done with the singing all together...

Something else I do is dance for Cole. He'll be looking at me with his big wide blue eyes as if I should be doing something. So I dance. He doesn't laugh at my moves, he just continues to stare. That's when I realize I'm a giant loser, and stop but not before saying "One day you'll think this is funny." I doubt he will.

Another thing I like to do is pick Cole's toe jam. Yep, that's right. Have you ever looked in between your baby's toes? There is a gold mine of lint in there and it is super fun to pick at! Maybe you think I'm disgusting—but MOST women I know love to pick things. Or maybe I just choose to associate myself with these types of women? Hmm. Maybe. I am "picky" about my friends. Haha. Bad joke. But seriously, I have a problem. I get excited when he has a booger I can get at, or a piece of skin that is flaking off. Did I just make you gag? I'm sorry. Just another part of the Mama-cat-grooming-experience I guess.

Anyway, those are just a few of the strange things I do in a day. What about you? Do you have any weird Mama-baby routines you're brave enough to share? Or are you going to make me stand alone in the shadowy corner as you all laugh and point? 

;) Just kidding. Laugh and point all you want, I'm okay with it.