Jen Warman: New Freakin' Mummy

Jan
09
2012

A Trip Down My Fertility Timeline

The Day I Peed on a Stick

I am currently 33-weeks-pregnant and am eating Jelly Bellies at 9:29am. I had a bowl of Bran Flakes for breakfast, so I thought I’d counter that healthy choice with an unhealthy one. Life is about balance, after all!

Food choices aside, I’d like to take you back a couple of trimesters to the beginning of my pregnancy journey. So jump into my DeLorean as we time travel back to June, 2011...

* insert time travel sound effect here *

On June 22, 2011, I peed on the pregnancy test strip fully expecting to be wasting yet another $14.79. I’d been peeing on these expensive pieces of technology unsuccessfully for the past 10 months, and wondered why this time should be any different?

Yes, my period was late—but it’s quite unpredictable anyway. Yes, my breasts were tender—but they’re always tender before my period. Yes, I was tired—but I’m always tired before my period. Pregnancy symptoms and period symptoms were essentially the same thing, I had decided, but I’d better take the test if I wanted to have that glass of wine with dinner tonight. You know. Just to be safe...

Well, I’m sure you can see where this is going...but to my absolute excitement and surprise—the test turned positive mid-urine-stream! I was THAT pregnant! So incredibly-super-pregnant, that the test couldn’t even wait until I was done to process the results! (This is what I told myself anyway). I nearly dropped the test into the toilet with excitement as I did a silent early-morning dance in my bathroom, eyes welling up with tears, “Oh my God! Oh my God!” I repeated this phrase and dance for the next three minutes, not knowing where to go or what to do.

Still clutching the test in my hand, I spastically ran into the bedroom where my husband was still sleeping. I poked him vigorously in the arm, like a 6-year-old child who wants her parents to wake up on Christmas morning. “Guess what? Guess what?” Groggily, my husband rolled over.

I’m pregnant!”

We didn’t cry our eyes out (like I had always imagined) but instead held each other in a shocked embrace. I think the reality hit us all of the sudden: WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS. OH SHIT! WHAT HAVE WE DONE? We immediately started planning for RESP’s and discussed at what age we should allow our child to get their first tattoo.

We were going to be good parents, right? We knew what we were getting ourselves into when we signed up for this, right? * nervous laughter *

And, 33 weeks later—we are still nervously (and super-excitedly) laughing.

Stay tuned for my next travel-back-in-pregnancy-time post where I re-count my experiences in the first trimester. I need to get y’all (yes, I said y’all) up to date before baby warman shows it’s big head to the world in approximately 7 short (yet long) weeks!

Eeek!