Jen Warman: New Freakin' Mummy


If You're a Woman There's a 90%* Chance You Like This


love tickles and touches

If I had to make a list of the things I love the most in life, it would look something like this:





Numbers 3 and 4 are interchangeable depending on the time of day, but since it's only 9:30am, right now I love cereal more. Come 5pm, I'll love wine more. But one thing that will never change? MY LOVE OF BACK & ARM TICKLES. And face tickles. Just tickle me. Anywhere. I love it. (That sounded sexual. It's not sexual. It's just a pure and genuine love of being tickled.)

Is there anything greater in LIFE? I think not. 

Seriously, since I can remember - I have loved back and arm tickles. I'm thinking back to sleepovers in 4th grade. My girlfriends and I would stay up into the wee hours of the morning talking and playing "concentration" and "criss-cross-apple-sauce" on each other's backs. If we were relaxing watching a movie together - there would always be an arm draped over someone's lap while the other person tickled and drew. After a set amount of time, you'd switch. The last 30 seconds of your "turn" were always so painful: you wanted to enjoy every last second of the tickle, but you knew it was coming to an end so...soon...

Fast forward 20 years - guess what my girlfriends and I still do when we hang out? That's right. The obsession continues, and it's pretty universal amongst the women I know in my life. Without doing proper research (because that would take too long and isn't really my "thing") I'd say that 90% of women enjoy a good arm / back tickle. 

My husband on the other hand? No way.

I instinctively find myself lightly tickling my fingers up his arm when we're relaxing, only for him to swat it away like a spider. "Ooops, sorry!" I say. I forgot it actually tickles him. 

But not me. I'm like a relaxed dog when you tickle my arm. My leg starts to twitch in appreciation, and a little pool of saliva gathers in the corner of my mouth. My eyes glaze over, and slowly my eyelids begin to drop. In minutes, I can be asleep. Even thinking about it right now has me on the verge of...zzzzzz.....

And on those particularly exhausting parenting days when I'm tired, and just want a break and some pampering...

"Hey Cole! Why don't you practice writing your name?....ON MY BACK!" 


"Hey Maeve, let's pretend Mommy broke her arm. And need to put a cast on it."

Yes, I've done both of these things, and yes, it's glorious! 

If I ever get rich enough just to hire someone to tickle me while I work, you better believe I'll do it!

I have a feeling I'll get a lot of confused and strange people applying for the role though.

"Looking for an experienced tickler..." Hmmmm. 

 RELATED: Exposing Myself Through the Contents of My Purse