Jen Warman: New Freakin' Mummy


Are We Done Having Kids?


are we done having kids, two vs three kids, two kids, three kids, million dollar family, debate over number of kids, how many kids to have

As my daughter approaches her first birthday, naturally I've started thinking...about having another baby.

I'm nuts, right? We have a three year-old boy, and a one year-old girl. The million dollar family, or so I'm told. My husband is more than happy to be "done." I've never seen someone so eager to have a sharp blade near their genitals.

He's waiting for me to give him the thumbs up. The go ahead. The green light. He's already planned himself a vasectomy party. (Which basically involves him watching sports and drinking beer.) 

In many ways, I'd be glad to be done with the baby years and just move on. It would be nice to have weekends away with my husband, and actually sleep in the same bed again. Imagine? And as much as I love babies, let's be honest: babies are pretty useless. Toddlers are pretty awesome (except for when they're not.) 

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It would also be nice to finally get some sleep (which certainly wouldn't happen anytime soon if we had another baby). I haven't slept more than five consecutive hours in three years. Most nights, I get three consecutive hours if I'm lucky.

So why oh why would I want to torture myself with another baby who doesn't sleep? Couldn't I just give myself papercuts and pour vinegar over them instead? Or jab needles in my eye? Am I that much of a glutton for punishment? 

I guess it has something to do with the exploding amount of love in my heart and my desire to bury myself in the kisses and hugs of my own sweet children. More kids to kiss. More kids to love. More kids to laugh with. 

But with that comes more kids to feed, more kids to dress, and more kids to shuffle around to activities. 

Two children is practical. Three children is...less practical?

RELATED: 7 things that mothers of 4 or more do that every parent should incorporate into their lives

But here's the thing: I'm not an overly practical person. I am chronically underdressed on cold days, and overdressed on hot ones. I don't care about that kind of stuff. Life has a way of figuring itself out. It's called survival. Right? Plus, we already have a mini-van, so...fuck it. We should probably just fill it up. 

I don't know. I guess we will have to wait and see. I'm not ready to be pregnant again right now anyway. Plus - we've lucked out with two super adorable children, what if the third one is ugly? This is a legitimate concern. I can just imagine the whispers, "Did you see their third baby, Bertha? Yeah. They probably should have stopped at two." 

Put your pitchforks down, I'm joking. Mostly.

So...will the Warmberger's make another little slider? If you ask my husband? It's a firm no. If you ask me? It's a firm...maybe that leans towards the side of yes. 

Only time will tell. Keep reading my blog for the next three years, and we'll see what happens. In the meantime, I have a first birthday party to plan!