Jen Warman: New Freakin' Mummy


Are You a Chronic Bailer?


When it comes to people who constantly cancel at the last minute (or just don't show up at all) I truly believe that Mom's are the worst offenders. I'm sorry, but it's true. Mom's are chronic bailers.

Not all moms, but most moms. And we have good reasons!

Rather Curl Up On The Couch Than Paint The Town Red?

We're tired.
We're sick.
The baby is sick.
The toddler is tired.
The baby is tired.
The toddler is sick.
Someone got a papercut.
Someone lost their favourite toy, then someone lost their mind.
Someone shat their pants.

Sometimes we wonder why we even bother trying to make plans at all, right?

I know how exhausting it can be, and I've done my share of bailing in the last three years.

This Mom Says: Suck It Up, Ya Bunch Of Babies.

There was a time in recent history where I was on my way to visit friends in the city for lunch (with both kids). I tried to get out the door three times. We missed our train. We missed another train. I decided to drive. Then someone had to pee. Then someone was hungry. Then they were both crying. I was a nervous wreck and almost got side-swiped (not my fault, I swear). I was sweating. After 45 minutes of accomplishing nothing, I threw in the towel. I cancelled the lunch date. But damn it all, I tried. I really tried!

I hate letting people down, but sometimes the stars just aren't aligning for whatever reason, and I have to admit defeat. Especially if it's plans where the kids are involved: it's not worth totally compromising their emotional state for the sake of a lunch date.

With that said, I'm a firm believer in pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and trying new things.  

As a mother, it is easy to become a hermit and a slave to your housecoat, I your children's naps and routines. Don't get me wrong: naps and routines are important, but so is freedom and flexibility. So finding that balance can be tricky. I truly believe that sometimes you have to make yourself uncomfortable in order to have fun and create awesome memories.

Cautious is boring. Live on the edge. Travel during someone's nap time ("what?") Say yes to a play-date that is all the way across the city (" bubble!"). Eat lunch with both kids, at a restaurant that's not designed for kids. ("holy. shit!") I know. I know. I'm making you sweat. But really, it's good for all of you.

Routine. Balance. Spontaneity. Chaos.

Yes, they CAN co-exist, and I believe they should.

And if you step outside of your comfort zone, and everything goes to hell in a hand-basket? At least you'll have a good story to tell.

Like the time I had to pull off the highway three times in fifteen minutes because my son had diarrhea and my daughter was hysterical for whatever reason. We still made it to the Science Centre, and had an awesome day. I'm glad we didn't cancel our plans and go home.

It sucked in the moment, but looking back now - it was pretty damn funny, and now I have a fun story about rubber boots full of feces.

See? Fun times.

So the next time you're considering cancelling your plans because of (insert excuse from above-mentioned list), just remember that sometimes the best memories are made when you're least expecting it.