Are you exhausted? Do you have grown-up temper tantrums some days that rival your toddlers? Do you find yourself looking in the mirror thinking, "What the hell happened to my breasts?"
Then yes, you must be a Mom.
Do you log onto Instagram or Facebook and see pictures of other mothers you know and think, "How the hell do they have their shit together?" And then proceed to hate yourself, just a little bit?
Well, fear not my frazzled-mom-friend, I am here to help!
I am here to wave my magical wand and help YOU (yes, you) look like a brilliant mother on all social media fronts. Just follow these three easy steps! (Said in my best 1950's housewife voice)
Bags under your eyes? Splotchy skin? Somewhat smeared mascara from last week? No problem. Instagram has several different filters to make even the most wretched photo look like something that belongs on the cover of Today's Parent.
Your house might look like something that belongs on an episode of Hoarders, and your kids ate nothing but PB&J all week, but you managed to craft something fabulous enough to give Martha Stewart an orgasm, so...take a picture. Take three. (Just make sure your un-pedicured toes or mountains of laundry don't find their way into the background of the photos, or your cover is blown!)
Did it take twenty-five minutes to dress your children for a walk in the park? Was one of them crying with snot dripping down his face just minutes ago? Shhhh, no one needs to know. So start clicking. Chances are you will be lucky enough to catch a moment where one child is laughing (or crying so hard they look like they're laughing) and everyone will think, "Aww, sibling love!" (You can even use that caption if you'd like.) BONUS NOTE: Adding heart embellishments and a trendy text will even further support the message.)
And there you have it, friends! Easy, right? And now that you know the tricks, there is one important thing you need to remember:
We're in this thing together, frazzled-mom-friends. I can see beyond your filters, and I hope you can see beyond mine. I hope you can see the genuine smiles and the oh-so-real-love, but I also hope you can see that no one's life is perfect. Just perfect moments woven together by many not-so-glamourous minutes of motherhood. I love it, I wouldn't change it, but it sure is an all-consuming ride.
And in case you are wondering, here is a picture of me right now as I write this blog post.
#NoFilter #Obviously #Husbandshirt #keepinitreal
If you'd like to hear more of my truth telling, here is the letter I wrote to my breasts "Dear Breasts..." Or, you can also check out this post where I talk about pooping while you push. Enjoy!