Jen Warman: New Freakin' Mummy


I'll Be A Better Friend In A Few Years


busy, mom, motherhood, juggling act, friends, friendship, tired, exhausted, doing it all, happiness, family, life

Are you my friendin real life or online? There's a good chance you are. I have a lot of friends. I'm not bragging, but it's true. I've worked hard to stay in touch and stay connected with my friends. I've even gone out of my way to make new friends (gasp!). I like having good people in my life. 

But lately, I feel like I've been slipping. It might take me days to respond to your text. If you're a new friend I've met at the park, it's probably been months since we've met up for a play date...if we've even met up yet at all!

If you've phoned me recently, you're probably wondering why I haven't called you back yet. I'll be honestI dread phone calls. It's almost impossible to find a time during the day when I can talk without a baby reaching for the phone or a toddler trying to get my attention. It's almost as much effort as going to the gym. By the time 8pm rolls around and both kids are in bed, the last thing I want to do is talk. To anyone. I reduce myself to grunts and vague hand gestures. I'm completely and utterly spent. I barely have enough energy to fart. 

So, friends, I'm sorry. I know I'm not performing as the award winning friend of the past, but I'm pretty sure this is my new reality for at least...the next three years. 

But guess what? I've decided not to give myself a hard time about this! I'm not allowing myself to feel guilty (too guilty)...

I'm very busy these days doing some very important work and research in Human Development. I'm trying very hard to raise two happy and healthy children. I'm trying to teach them how to be thoughtful, caring, creative, and respectful little humans. I'm trying to teach my children to hold the door for you when your hands are full, and offer you a hug if you're crying. Basically, I'm trying to make sure they don't grow up to be serial killers. I'm sure we can all appreciate that. 

So in the meantime, something has to give. There just aren't enough hours in the day. I still love you, I still want you in my life, but it might take me a while to respond to you or remember what day of the week it is. If it's any consolation, I've also given up the idea of wearing my hair down, eating any meal sitting down, or staying up past 10pm. 

My life right now is a hurricane of diapers, cooking, snuggles, books, breastfeeding, frequent night-wakings, coffee, and dump trucks. I try to throw in a few play dates, and the odd yoga class (note to self: go to a yoga class). I can't watch the news, because it's too violent for my 2.5-year-old (and even for me some days), so I rely on social media headlines to vaguely tell me what's happening in the world. There seems to be a lot of crap going on, so I genuinely hope that when I raise my head and come out of this vortex, the world will have magically found peace. I hope that's not too much to ask.

And now that naptime is over (I hear someone stirring), it's time for me to leave this comfy computer chair and play fire-rescue with Cole while playing "don't-eat-that" with Maeve. 

I'll text you back as soon as my hands are even somewhat free. I love you. Sit tight. We'll hang out soon.

To read more about friendships and babies, check out the post I wrote called How Not To Be A Jerk When Your Friend Has A Baby.