I am growing a human inside of me, which requires a lot of work and energy. I still get up 1-3 times per night with my toddler. I work a full-time job. I sometimes make dinner (my husband or parents usually do.) I sometimes clean my house (again, it's a collaborative group effort: a perk of having your parents live in the same house). Regardless, the point I'm trying to make is that I'm tired. Being pregnant while having a toddler and a busy life is a whole new level of exhaustion. I'm not complaining at all, it's just the truth.
I go to bed freakishly early (9:00-9:30pm) because I get up freakishly early (anywhere between 4:45 and 6:00am — thank you toddler) and sometimes, sometimes I need to have a second coffee or a latte during the day. It goes without saying that I always have a morning coffee, but the odd time, around 2 or 3pm when I'm nodding off at my desk I need a little something extra. And sometimes, I just want something sweet. Or something warm. So I'll meander downstairs to the coffee shop, and get myself an afternoon-pick-me-up. Because I can. Because I want to. Because I've done my research, and I know it's okay to have 300mg of coffee per day while pregnant. I also know, in fact, that due to my crazy low blood pressure (82/50) it's sometimes encouraged to have some caffeine.
So when I order my small latte, and the old man behind the counter scowls at me and says, "How about decaf? Coffee isn't good for the baby." I believe I am fully within my right to want to punch him in between his beady little eyes.
However, instead of physically assaulting a 63-year-old man, I politely tell him, "It's okay. I'm allowed to have caffeine. 300mg per day, and an 8oz small latte has less than 150mg." Why oh why do I feel a need to explain myself to this jerk? Why oh why am I still smiling, when inside, I want to chemically peel the skin off his face? (Channeling my inner serial killer here. Note to self: stop watching Criminal Minds.)
And if this isn't bad enough, Mr. Ass-Face Coffee Man whispers something to his co-worker, and then proceeds to tell me, "I'm making you a special blend. It's lighter. Better for the baby."
That's when I get mad. "You had better not be giving me decaf. Because decaf is loaded with chemicals and THAT is bad for the baby!"
He scowls and hands me my latte. I begrudgingly sip it, and storm away wondering "Am I drinking decaf?!? I have no idea! Arghhh."
Seriously, can you believe the nerve of this man? Imagine he (an overweight middle aged man) went out for breakfast and ordered bacon and eggs, and the server brought him fruit and yogurt "Because it's better for your blood pressure and cholesterol, Sir"?!? Imagine what he would say then?!?
So why, oh why do complete strangers think it is their business to tell pregnant women what is good for them and what isn't? And it's especially frustrating when the people doling out the advice are un-educated assholes.
It's not like I was sipping on a bottle of vodka, smoking a cigarette, and shooting up heroine while ordering my latte. MAYBE then it would be okay for him to say something.
And even so, I'd prefer he just offer to hold my vodka while I searched for a good vein. Jesus. (Kidding.)
*Big pregnant sigh*
I'm sure many of you out there can relate—and if you can't...just wait. It'll happen. In this world, there is no pregnant belly left un-touched or un-commented-upon. I wrote about it last time I was pregnant in a post called: Shit People Say To Pregnant Women.
Tell me, have you ever been in this situation? What happened and how did you handle it?
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