Cole is now 18 months old and I'm 12 weeks pregnant with baby #2. And guess what?
I'm still breastfeeding.
Yes...STILL *gah* Are you disgusted yet? A little weirded out? I mean...he's a year and a half years old, people! He really needs to stop — right? He can say words and eat "real food." He can kick a ball, and "reads" books. Certainly, I must stop breastfeeding at this point, right? I mean, I'm about to have another baby!!! Enough is enough! I'm going to turn my little boy into a dependent and insecure child who is overly needy and "obsessed with boobs."
In fact, he'll probably end up groping his teacher in Kindergarten because he's so obsessed with boobs! When the other kids are playing in the sandbox, he'll be playing with BOOBS!!
Instead of toy trucks and soccer balls, he'll ask for BOOBS for Christmas! What am I doing to my poor child?!?!?
You're right. You're totally right. I should stop. I can see, it's making you uncomfortable. I'm sorry about that.
I'll just ignore the fact that he's a healthy and thriving little boy who has a great amount of confidence. I'll ignore the fact that I feel incredibly connected to my little boy, and that we share some very special quiet moments together every day. I'll just ignore the fact that if I were to just "stop breastfeeding him" he would feel confused and upset, and as a result be a lot more clingy and needy throughout the day...
I'm sorry if this post sounds bitter as it is dripping in sarcasm, I'm just so frustrated. It seems as though 98% of people who I talk to give me shocked reactions when they find out I'm STILL BREASTFEEDING, especially now that I'm pregnant.
"What will you do when the baby comes?"
"Well, if Cole hasn't stopped by then, I suppose I'll be tandem breastfeeding..."
I get masked looks of judgment as people try to process this information. And to be honest, in the beginning, I questioned myself. I really wasn't sure I liked the idea of breastfeeding two babies at once. One can be hard enough, and of course I wanted to be sure I would have "enough milk" for the new baby. But after talking to some amazing women online, and reading some articles — I'm not really worried.
Yes, there was a time that I was worried about Cole's "addiction to the boob" but have since learned how to talk to him about breastfeeding manners (i.e., don't whip mommy's shirt down in public). And yes, I have publicly wept about the disappearance of my breasts since breastfeeding *sob sob sob*...But..I'm still incredibly happy with the choices we've made. Together.
In conclusion, I'd like to share a little experiment I did about a month ago...
I tried "weaning" Cole from his morning "before mommy goes to work" feed...(I usually feed him 2-3 times a day)
The first day, my mom (who looks after him) said "It was so strange, Cole was very needy today. He didn't want to play on his own very much and was very clingy." Interesting. I hadn't told her that I didn't feed him that morning.
The next day, I fed him before work (and didn't tell her)...
"How was he today?" I asked. "He was great! He played much better on his own today and was really happy."
I continued this experiment for the rest of the week, and the result? The days I fed him in the morning he was confident and independent. On the days I didn't feed him, he was clingy and needy.
Coincidence? I don't think so...
So for those of you out there who would like to learn more about breastfeeding beyond infancy, or if you're just interested in learning and connecting with other moms, here are some resources I have found to be incredibly helpful.
In the meantime, stay posted for more stories about my boobs...
ADVENTURES IN TANDEM NURSING (book)