No one thinks I'm funnier than my toddler. He's a great boost for my self-esteem, and there is no better sound in the world than a child laughing. (Okay, that's a lie, children laughing can also be the creepiest sound in the world. Remember Chucky?!?)
If you have Facebook and you also leave your house from time-to-time, there is a good chance you've found yourself in this situation:
You're on your way to work, the mall, your gynecologist appointment, and you bump into Emily. A friend from high-school who you haven't seen in years. You excitedly say hello, and ask her "How are you doing?" But you instantly realize, you know exactly how she is doing.
There sure is a shit ton of dieting going on these days. I don't know if it's my age or the rise of network marketing businesses that are capitalizing on people's insecurities - but I feel like I'm constantly looking at "before and after" photos and "here's my food" pictures.
At first, I thought we could just play rock, paper, scissors and call it a day. "Whoever wins gets to decide how many kids we have?" But then I realized I'm bad at that game - and it probably isn't the best way to make such a big life decision.
So then, I decided to let time make the decision for us. "Ahh, the easy way out!" Surely, over time one of us would change our minds. Then - no one has to make a decision. Hurray!
Every morning I wake-up with smeared mascara somewhere on my face.
I don't wear much make-up at all, but I do wear mascara almost every day. What I don't do, is wash it off properly before I go to bed (I know: terrible!)
Over the years, I have tried many different kinds of eye-make up remover, and I've always felt frustrated. It's either too oily, or it doesn't actually work and I end up trying to use soap. Then I get soap in my eye, it burns, turns red, I swear and then say "I'm never doing that again!" Until I forget, and do it again.
Oh Cole, I'm feeling the weight of you turning four, and it's heavy.
Not every age comes with the same weight. Two and three somehow didn't feel so big, but four? This one is heavy.
When I close my eyes and try to imagine you as a newborn, it feels so far away most days. I almost forget what you were like as an infant, and this makes me quite sad. Though I know I'll never truly forget, because you are an extension of myself and my arms will always remember the weight of your newborn body.
Have you resolved to finally get that Olympian-fit body you've been longing for? And give up carbs, gluten, sugar, caffeine, and oxygen? Are you going to focus on finding your inner "quiet" so you can be a louder "you"? Are you going to recycle gum wrappers and stop using water bottles and never buy leather or paper coffee cups or stupid toys at the dollar store?
Christmas is almost here *insert incredible amounts of excitement* and I must say, I thoroughly enjoy walking through malls and stores at this time of year. (Is that strange?) It's probably because we don't buy gifts for anyone in our family except for the kids - therefore shopping is an enjoyable experience. Our Christmas is 98% stress free, so we can focus on Baileys, sugar cookies, and walks to look at Christmas lights.
There is something you should all know about me: I love hugs. If I've just met you, and you seem even remotely nice, I'll probably hug you.
If you're one of my close friends, it's very likely that I'll pet you. Repeatedly. And if you're one of my kids? It is 100% reasonable to assume that I'll take every opportunity I can to squeeze, snuggle, tickle, kiss, or pet you. I can't. Get. Enough.