Recently, the adoption social media world had a new entry—this video by a pastor in the US named Jesse Butterworth:
Naturally, the video appeals to many adoptive parents, because so many of us have been asked these exact same questions—or ones similar in nature—and, quite frankly, there are already hundreds of posts on the interwebs about what TO say and what NOT to say about adoption. It's also nice to find a rare insertion of humour into an important subject.
I don't fully agree with all of Rev. Butterworth's suggested "correct" questions or terminology, but at the same time, I applaud his effort toward adoption awareness and sensitivity, so I'm not going to nitpick.
However, I did come across a round-table discussion about this video on a site called "Lost Daughters," written by adult adoptees. Their take on the video is that it may be funny to some, but at the same time, they feel it is demeaning to adoptees to compare them to breasts and that this video was really only considering the perspective of the adoptive parents, not adult adoptees, which, in light of the fact that it was made by adoptive parents, isn't all that surprising, I guess. I do agree with their opinion that many of the questions presented in the video don't really need to be asked in ANY form or language.
For me and my family, we do occasionally find some questions offensive or irritating, but in general, we try to look at questions asked with good intentions as opportunities to educate others about adoption. Reverend Butterworth has said that he made this video to protect his daughter, and I totally get that. Children who have been adopted should never have to hear some of the questions that their parents get asked.
What are your thoughts?
Does this video succeed in educating people about adoption questions? What would you do differently if you didn't like the video?
Hi! Thanks for reading my post! You may also like reading about what this woman did to educate the public about inappropriate adoption questions, or you may want to find out how you can educate yourself about adoption.
BlissDom Canada 2014 tickets recently went on sale, and believe me — you don't want to miss this mother-of-all-conferences! Last year I attended for my first time and fell madly in love — with BlissDom.
What did BlissDom DO for me, you ask?
BlissDom Canada 2013 made me believe that dreams can come true, even the dreams that I was not yet aware I had. As corny as it may sound — BlissDom made me believe in serendipity.
The people I met, the workshops I attended, the speakers I heard — they all gave me the motivation to explore a creative side of myself that I had only partially been using.
I wrote in my previous careers, but not full-time. Prior to BlissDom, I was wondering what to do with my life, considering my full-time work as a stay-at-home mom had ended with my daughter starting school. I had only been "blogging" for little over a year — quotation marks because I was simply writing the stories of my life and publishing them with no real focus on what I wanted to accomplish with my writing. I was a newbie in every possible way, and BlissDom taught me that my writing could be channelled into a few different careers that suited my needs. I could work in a comfortable environment (my couch), wear pajamas to work, and still be with my daughter when she was at home.
BlissDom, along with my non-creepy stalking, gave me the chance to meet some phenomenal women who have facilitated the incredible writing opportunities I've been given over the past six months. One of these women is obviously Erica Ehm. When I adopted my daughter, I stumbled across YummyMummyClub.ca and rapidly became addicted to the online magazine's fun and informative reading material during my daughter's naps. It took me a year to gather the courage to submit one of my own blog posts to this website. Meeting Erica in person was a highlight of the conference for me, considering she's been a smart and creative role model since her days on MuchMusic. It was her compliment during our first face-to-face meeting: "You are such an amazing writer and story-teller" that elevated my confidence enough to consider my writing as a career instead of just a fantasy, and often kicks my ass even now, on days when my confidence level is a sloppy mess. Erica's speech during BlissDom's Power Hour about "Just ask for what you want — the worst anyone can say is no, and you'll get over it" inspired me to take her excellent advice, so I pitched her my idea of writing this blog to represent yummy mummies who have never given birth, and I am still so grateful that she offered me a position to write here.
BlissDom also presented me a chance meeting with Ali Martell, the Editor-in-Chief of YummyMummyClub.ca. I had long been a fan of her beautifully-written personal blog Cheaper Than Therapy and was happy just to say hello to her in person and thank her for publishing the few posts I had submitted. Little did I know at that time what a kind, enthusiastic, supportive, and patient editor she is!
In my lonely beginnings on social media — prior to BlissDom — I had frequent Twitter interactions with Sharon DeVellis, Yummy Mummy Club's Senior Writer. Her upbeat attitude behind @YMCBuzz on Twitter saved me from some pretty quiet days when I had very few followers! I spotted her at BlissDom's newbie meet-up and nervously approached her to introduce myself in person. Imagine my surprise when she hugged me like an old friend and immediately introduced me to people around her in a most flattering manner.
Now I know what you're thinking...I've written this post so far to simultaneously kiss the tushes of my superiors while building up their reputation and the reputation of this site. Youbetcha! Because they all deserve it and I mean every word of it. Just ask my husband — I don't give compliments easily, and I'm truly grateful to be writing here. I went to BlissDom hoping to meet these creative social media powerhouses and some of the other talented people that work here, simply to tell them in person how much I enjoyed and admired their work, but I never imagined that I might also be writing here just a few months later...oh, the serendipity of BlissDom.
One of the fantastic and popular workshops offered at BlissDom "From Blogs to Magazines" was facilitated by Tracy Chappell, a Senior Editor at Today's Parent magazine. I was once again inspired! Pre-BlissDom, I had certainly fantasized about writing for magazines, but my pre-Blissdom lack of confidence filed those thoughts under "Impossible Dreams" using the excuse that I lacked the experience and knowledge to make this happen. Tracy's session provided part of that knowledge, but again, the BlissDom serendipitous magic took over when a member of the BlissDom Facebook group (thank you Cynthia!) suggested setting up some mentorships and asked if anyone was interested. Imagine my excitement when Tracy Chappell responded that she would be happy to mentor somebody! I don't think my hands have ever flown over my iPhone's keypad so quickly and I was fortunate to be the first one to respond to Tracy. She agreed to mentor me, and my first magazine article was published in Today's Parent — April 2014 issue, my second article was published in the May 2014 issue, with a third one in the works! Tracy has been a wonderful mentor. I appreciate her incredible patience while answering my six million questions, her praise and sharing of my work on social media, her gentle criticism when needed, and of course her excellent editorial skills!
Would I have ever met any of these knowledgeable women without BlissDom? Nope. Would I have ever had a chance to write here or for Today's Parent if I hadn't been at BlissDom? Never. BlissDom is the connection point of my life's serendipity over the past six months.
There are other reasons why I'm so thankful to BlissDom Canada and its organizers — from meeting one of my blogging idols Glennon Doyle Melton and chatting with her, to the numerous talented and kind individuals I met and continue to build a network of support with, and ending with the acceptance of my daughter participating in the amazing energy that was celebrated at the final pajama party — all of these were equally fantastic experiences for me.
My BlissDom serendipity is proof that the only thing limiting you is YOU!
Dream as big as you can, follow your passions, be open to discovering dreams and passions you never knew you had and BlissDom Canada may just provide a path to convert those dreams to reality!
Thanks for reading my post! You may also be interested in reading about how I hammered out the end of my first marriage or about my thoughts on "parenting problems."
You know the proverbial love/hate relationship? Turns out it doesn't just apply to people! I recently had an attack of "thinkin' 'bout stuff," which thankfully doesn't occur often, and I realized that many of the things that drive me bat-shit crazy are also things that I actually also love, appreciate, or, at the very least, need.
So, as all good bloggers do, I had to share. Here's my list of things I love/hate:
1. The plethora of sale and discount code emails from children's clothing stores that flood my inbox every morning: They annoy me when I'm not in the market for new kids clothes, but boy, are they handy when I'm spending a fortune to dress my kids and can actually use them to save money!
2. My iPhone: Where would I be without it? The reasons I love it are obvious, but I still can't get used to the auto-correct that is so not correct, nor the rapid suck of battery power that fails to last a full day.
3. Cooking or baking: I enjoy the process, I really do, yet somewhere along the way, I lose my appetite for whatever I'm making, unless it's my Bolognese sauce. Plus, cooking and baking requires kitchen cleanup . . .
4. Getting my daughter ready for, and delivered, to school: This could quite possibly be the most challenging 45 minutes of my day, but the obvious payoff is when she's finally AT school and I have six hours to myself. To ponder things I love and hate.
5. Bras (see also: knickers): If you wear a bra, or knickers, or both, this requires no explanation.
6. The "Like" button on Facebook: It's a convenient way to say thank-you or that you, well, liked something! The problem is when somebody posts a sad or mad or unpleasant status or a post about the decline of the human soul and people "like" it! Why are you "liking" somebody's pet dying or somebody missing a flight, people? Why is a "Dislike" button so unlikable, Zuckerberg?
7. Social media: Since we're already talking about Facebook, let's just talk about social media in general. I love the social aspect—chatting about anything and everything, the funny jokes and memes, the sharing of information, the communities. Yet sometimes (generally around PMS times), I also feel like it could be called "anti-social" media—when you tweet to an echoing canyon, when you post a status that not one person acknowledges, when you start comparing who is following who but not you, when you look at your reach analytics, when you spend time wondering why all those people you followed on Instagram haven't followed you back, despite being "friends" with you on Facebook and following you on Twitter. Ugh. You need a very secure self-esteem sometimes to live in the world of social media.
8. Fried foods: They taste sublime, but we all know what they do to us if we don't eat them in moderation. I have no moderation. Ditto for chips, chocolate, and cookies.
9. Taking my kids to the park (oh yeah, I just said that): I love hanging out with my kids (sometimes) and I like them spending time outdoors, but there are so many things about the park that get under my skin, like germs, animal poop, sand or wood chips, mud, random coyotes that trot out of the nearby woods (true story), and mommy cliques. Isn't sitting on my lounger reading under my patio canopy while the kids play in my backyard the same thing as taking them to the park . . . sort of?
10. Painting my house: Coloured walls are lovely. They are even better when I am not the one who has to colour them.
11. Plastic wrap on magazines: Thank you for the protection of my magazine, because you guessed it, I AM one of those people who dislikes a scratch, rip, or crease in my magazine covers or pages. Yet I also find it wasteful and bad for the environment that some magazines come with plastic protection. Couldn't we at least use brown paper wrap that can be recycled?
12. Grocery/household item shopping: Here is a high-level description of this kind of shopping . . .
I'm sorry, but all that IN and OUT should be reserved for ONE act and ONE act only. Can't somebody please design a cart that can be wheeled through a scanner still full of our stuff and then allow us to take that same cart and fold up the legs/wheels and put that cart in our car, stroller-style? Bingo! Half of the inefficiency eliminated! Sadly, I have to also love grocery/household item shopping, because, well, I like to eat. And use toilet paper. And have clean dishes.
You get the picture.
How about you? What do you have a love/hate relationship with?
Thanks for reading my post! If you would like to read more from me, how about this post about a beautiful woman redefining what beauty really is, or this post about my ode to coffee.
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