Jackie Gillard: Conceived in my Heart


My New Year's Resolutions for 2014

The Things I Want to do Differently This Coming Year

The year 2013 is drawing to a close.  You know what that means, right?

New Year's Resolutions time.


You don't do resolutions? You never stick to them?

Neither do I.

But I still like to start out the year with some delusions ideas in my head about what I'd like to do differently from the previous year.

You know — in case I run out of things to feel guilty about, I can rely on the fact that I made resolutions I didn't keep to beat myself up over.

So, in no particular order, here are my resolutions for 2014:

1.  To eat a healthier diet and exercise. A little. Oh, I know, so cliche. I agree. But my body doesn't care about cliches and my body is telling me that it is definitely time to shed a few pounds — aching back, sore knees — never mind the pants that no longer fit. There is painful evidence reminding me that my body was designed to carry only so much weight and I'm pushing it to the max. It's time to stop kidding myself about how long I can sustain an unhealthy lifestyle and not pay a price for it. I need to keep reminding myself that my sweet daughter needs me around.

2.  To have more fun. And to broaden my interpretation of what "fun" is. Looking back on 2013, I realized that fun wasn't a large component of my past twelve months.  It was a rough year in a few ways, but at the same time, I have also come to understand that I am not a fun person by nature. Yes, I have a sense of humour and sometimes even make people laugh, but "having fun" has some pretty narrow definitions in my world, so I'm going to try and change that, which hopefully will organically expand the amount of fun I enjoy.

3.  To have more sex. Oh, I know, Mom. You're blushing, and I'm sorry, but you ARE the one who told me that having sex every day helps keep a marriage happy, right?  And it seems to work for my parents, so perhaps increasing the frequency in my own marriage will give us a badly-needed boost in that relationship. It's easy to get mired down in work stress, extended family stress, children stress and then once the kids are in bed, turn to TV and social media to relax, instead of turning to each other. It's TOO easy. So I'm going to try to make an effort to ask Huzbo for headache relief. 

4.  To read more. My lack of reading books over the past year is tormenting me. I actually went out during Christmas shopping and bought myself three books I want to read and gave them to Huzbo to give to me as a Christmas present from the kids. Because then I will be forced to read them, with my kids asking every few days "Aren't you going to read those books we gave you for Christmas, Mommy?" It's a foolproof plan.

5.  To stop listening to my bully inside. Yeah, this is a huge one. HUGE. I hate that bully. She hates me, too, unfortunately. She's mean. She makes me feel like shit every time I hear from her. She depresses me often. She lies to me. If she were an actual real person, I'd have banished her toxic presence from my life ages ago — I'd never put up with that crap from a real person. Yet for some mysterious reason, I listen to this awful voice tell me the most horrible stuff about myself AND I believe her on a regular basis. Not cool. Not doing it anymore.

6.  To be more present with my children. Yep, I'm a mom who, despite the fact that I work at home without children present for six hours a day, still parents with my iPhone in my hand or my laptop in my lap much of the time. I see how happy my daughter is and how much better she behaves when I give her my full attention. It's time to put down the electronics and spend more time with my children. Not ALL my time  — that's unrealistic — but definitely more time than I have been.

7.  To let more things go. I read an amazing line recently: "I don't have to accept every invitation I receive to conflict." Powerful. I am a person who has never really missed a chance to defend my opinions or actions. This hasn't always done me well, so in 2014, I'm just going to try to sit back and avoid some of the conflict I'm invited to participate in.  It's not always worth the trouble it gives me, I've realized, and I seem to be having less and less stamina for these dramas as I get older.

8.  To create a 36-hour day. No, really, it's true. With all the reading, and having fun and spending time with my kids and exercising and having sex that I'm going to be doing in 2014, it's obvious that I'm going to need some extra hours in the day, so I will do everyone the favour of tackling this universal challenge to create longer days...or perhaps just simply better manage the time I already get. 

Happy New Year everyone! What are YOUR resolutions?