I've let my kids become my excuse for making excuses. I used to be the kind of person who accepted invitations with excitement. I'd go to events, even if I didn't know anyone, and I'd make the best of it. It worked to my advantage because the more I said 'yes' to invitations the more things I got invited to. I went on a bunch of press trips, I attended technology conferences, I went to book launches, and film openings. I met amazing people and got to know this city really well.
I did it all on my own—and I loved it! Back then, I didn't like staying home and going to bed early. I liked having plans. I loved going out. And I enjoyed pushing myself outside of my comfort zone.
But then I had kids and I got really "busy" and really tired—and the excuses they just kept coming!
I'd love to go to that event but...
I don't have childcare.
It's too far downtown.
I don't have anyone to go with.
What if I get stuck standing by myself?
I'll have to talk to people.
I'll have to get dressed up.
I just don't have the energy.
I'd love to start my own business, but how will I have enough money/time/energy to make it happen?!
What if it's not profitable?
How will I find the motivation to put in all the work needed to make it a success?
I'd love to go on more dates with my husband, but babysitters are so expensive.
I'd love to see my friends more often, but that requires getting dressed and going out...at the end of the day...when all I really want to do is crawl into bed!
And on and on and on I go.
I used to love doing things—these days all I'm doing is dreaming up reasons not to do things. And frankly I'm sick of it.
I hate that feeling when the day of an event arrives and I know it's happening and I wish I was attending, but instead I'm home in my PJs telling myself that it's easier to stay in and watch Netflix than to make the effort to go out.
Interestingly, I don't make the same excuses when it comes to my kids' activities. We never miss a Saturday morning dance class and we go to all the birthday parties my kiddo is invited to (even if that means going to three in one weekend, like we did over the past few days). Interestingly, I make sure my kids have an amazing social life, but I'm willing to let mine slip.
It's so easy to fall into this trap. It's so easy to say 'no thanks' or 'maybe next time.'
But I'm SO done with excuses.
I'm going to BlissDom in October! I just secured my ticket. I might even stay over at the hotel for a night.
I'm going to start saying YES to invitations when I get them. So please feel free to invite me to your events!
I'm going to get dressed, dry my hair, and drag myself out of the house. I'm going to start having a life outside of my kids! I deserve it. It's all part of putting myself first.
Does having having kids prevent you from living your life? How do you stop yourself from making excuses? I want to know!
Read all about my plan to start really putting myself first. And, this is an old post I wrote about getting outside and enjoying nature, which I think is relevant because now that the weather is FINALLY nicer I think it's going to be MUCH easier for all of us to stop making excuses and get outside more.
So here's to a spring/summer without any excuses! Are you with me?