There’s a lot I miss about the innocence of my youth. I miss it for myself and I miss it for the sake of my children. It makes me sad that they will never quite understand the wonder of Jem, teased bangs and neon t-shirts, video stores on a Friday night. All that makes me nostalgic and long for those years that seem so distant past.

Mario Batali and the Food Bank for New York City recently launched the Food Stamp Challenge, in which participants limit their food budget to just $29 per person for the entire week. This challenge is an effort to raise awareness about the struggles to stay healthy on a limited budget and to showcase that low income families need more support than they are currently offered.

They say it takes a village.

But when I became pregnant, I was still relatively new to my city. There were no other parents in my local set of friends and I had no family close by. I was entering this new journey on my own.

I had to find my village after having my first child.

RELATED: Sometimes The Village Screws Up

My heart hurts today.

It was nothing more than a childish insult but brings with it a realization that the world isn’t always so easy.

My husband and I were ordering food at the counter of a busy restaurant. My two daughters were waiting at the table, enjoying the crayons and colouring books we had brought along.  

I was just about to head to the table when my oldest daughter came running up to me. “Mommy, those girls said I had poo skin.” She pointed to a group of girls seated a few feet away with their parents.

And I saw it.

Let's talk about childcare.

You’re probably going to experience a twinge of jealousy when you hear what I have to say next: my mother-in-law was able to watch my oldest daughter until she started preschool and my two year-old daughter until just recently.

I warned you. A bit envious, aren’t you?

Do you sleep in the same bed as your spouse?

I do.

In fact, we have our bedtime routine down pat and I have a hard time sleeping if we deviate from it. Basically, I’m admitting I have a hard time falling asleep without my husband. But lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of people choose not to sleep in the same bed as their spouse.

Huh? What?

I want to talk about the Jian Ghomeshi scandal, but without talking about Jian Ghomeshi. Unless you live under a rock, you’ve heard about it. And it’s beyond horrible and scary and sad.

But it didn’t really affect me until a few days ago.

What made it feel truly and completely real to me was when Reva Seth came out with her startling allegations.

You see, Reva Seth is South Asian (by her own account). And what I know about South Asian women is, we don’t typically talk about dating and men.

If you have kids, you know the answer is always, “NOW!”

“Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom NOW!”

“Daddy, I don’t want carrots. I want strawberries. NOW!”

“Honey, that child gate needs to go up NOW!”

“NOW! NOW! NOW!”

So when you ask yourself the question as to when is the best time to start saving for your child’s education, let me help make it really clear.

NOW!

Seriously. Like right now.

Today is an important day.

Today Sikhs all over the world are celebrating Gurpurab, the birth of our first Guru, Guru Nanak Ji.

Today, we remember his teachings. Teachings that apply whether you’re Sikh or not:

We’re back to the grind now that school is back in session. Now that the shininess and newness of the school year is starting to lose its sheen, it’s time to get real and deal with the facts.

  Fact: I have a school-aged child. With hair. Hair that is prone to get tangles and get in her face, her food, her mouth and just get in her way.

There is an article floating around. You might have heard of it. It tells the tale of a white man who created the character of a powerful black woman for an upcoming TV show, How To Get Away With Murder. Except that’s not what the article really says at all.

The article actually tells the tale of racism and idiocy and how the two go hand in hand.

Parents are funny creatures. We spend our days making sure our children are happy and content. But when it comes to ourselves, though?

Ha! Who has time for that?!

YOU!

You have time for that.

Trust me, you really do.

You need to.

Because you owe it to yourself and your children to be happy. And it’s not really so hard. It doesn’t have to take a long time or be odious or cost a lot.

I like myself best with makeup on and hair done. And it worries me more than just a little.

Truth be told, I never thought about it before. I never gave it a second thought, because it was just another thing I did and didn't have to think about.

That's who I was.

I was the sort who never wore flats, never left her house without makeup on, and definitely always did her hair. A ponytail? Oh my, not I!

I enjoyed getting dressed up and putting on my face.

I still enjoy it.

But now, it worries me.

See, the thing is that I have daughters.

Have you ever had one of those days? One of those nights?

Dear Lord, those nights.

You’ve been up all night with a teething and crying baby. Cleaning vomit from the carpet and sheets for the umpteenth time. Soothing a feverish child until the light of dawn.

Before you know it, it’s morning. And you’re pretty certain your head never even hit the pillow.

It might have, but you just have no recollection of it at all.

Because you’re just that damn tired.

And now you have to do it all again.

I love shopping online for my daughters.

A lot.

My husband thinks I have an obsession.

Which I don’t. Of course, I don’t.

Because that would just be ridiculous.

And I’m not ridiculous.

I’m simply perfecting my shopping skills. Which, obviously, takes practice.

So there you have it, I’m just becoming a better version of me.

You need to be enlightened to understand that and he, clearly, is not.

But I digress.

The point is that online shopping for my children is my most favourite hobby ever.

It seems that Donald Sterling thinks that his girlfriend looks bad posing with black people.

Actually, Donald, what really makes her look bad is sleeping with you.

Or, I mean, business associating with you (wink, wink).

I think it’s pretty clear that Donald Sterling is a problem that needs to be resolved. Hopefully, he goes far away and we don’t have to hear about him again.

So, yes, he’s a problem, but, unfortunately, he’s not the problem.

I’ve lost three family members in the last few weeks.

Losing someone is incomparable.

It hurts like nothing else.

But living with regret is pretty close.

There are sometimes no second chances. No opportunity to fix things.

No possible way to go back. To tell someone you’re sorry for not keeping in touch.

That you regret it with all your heart.

And life just seemed to get in the way.

And then you got busy and tomorrow seemed like a better time to call.

That you kept putting it off because you didn’t know what to say.

You know those days where you’re so tired you’re not quite sure how you’re going to make it through?    

I’m having one of those days.

I am exhausted from being up all night with a teething baby.

A teething baby is inevitably a crying and upset baby.

A crying and upset baby is inevitably a crying and upset mommy.

A crying and upset mommy is inevitably . . . 

A shitty day.

A really shitty day.

The kind of day where it’s acceptable to say shitty.

I know you’re four now, baby girl.

That’s big.

That’s taller than my hip-bones big.

That’s going to school big.

That’s a little too big.

Bigger than I sometimes want you to be.

Because I can’t help but want to slow down time.

Pause those moments that make my heart skip a beat.

The way you still cuddle into my arms when you’re tired.

And then tell me that I’m squishing you in your sternest voice.

The way you run to me when you’re scared.

Sometimes, I don’t remember who I am anymore.

It’s as though I’ve disappeared into motherhood and wife-ness. I’ve disappeared into this wonderful family and life that we’ve created for ourselves.

I’m not complaining. Not really.

I love my life, but sometimes, I miss myself.

Along the way, I seem to have lost a bit of who I am.

I’m spending a little less time getting ready, a little less time meeting friends, a little less time reading those favourite books, a little LOT less time working out.