I’ve decided I’m giving up yelling.
No, not at daddy. One step at a time, baby girl.
But at you and your sister.
Because I noticed something a few days ago. You also yell and scream when you’re upset. I’m not sure when it started, but I do know who you got it from.
On those days when I need more sleep and more caffeine and more hands, I yell. Those days usually end in y.
Sometimes, when I get frustrated and you don’t listen, and your sister is trying to climb up my leg, I yell. It’s not your fault and it’s not her fault.
It’s my fault.
I know that I gave you the wrong colour Play Doh and I cut your fruit up the wrong size and I gave you the princess cup for your milk when you really wanted the Minnie Mouse one.
I promise to listen more, ask better questions, try to understand so I get it right the next time. If I get it wrong, I’ll try again without getting angry.
Or I will take the time to explain why it has to be the way it is. I will get down to your level, reason, clarify, and answer your questions.
I hope you’ll have some patience with me.
And yes, I promise to have more patience with you, too.
Because you and your sister deserve that.
You both deserve so much better than the yelling and the nagging.
Mommy can do better. Mommy will do better.
I might slip up, but I’ll keep trying to be the best mommy I can be for you and your sister.
See, the thing is, I don’t want you to have my faults.
I want you to stay perfect and be you, just as you are meant to be.
Not a mini-me.
But a mini-you.
Become the girl you are supposed to be.
Not the girl that mommy is creating with her yelling and nagging.
You’re so much more than that.
So, I’m done with it.
The yelling, the nagging, the raised voice.
I’m giving it all up.
For you. For your sister.
For your future.
Love you always,