My Pet Peeves: A Lesson In Hypocrisy

I have a list of pet peeves. Just those little things that seem to get under my skin.

Only, there’s a slight problem with my list.

See, the thing is….

I commit each of these pet peeves on the regular. The very regular. Perhaps even daily.

I’m the ultimate hypocrite.

Sigh.

It’s not an unusually creative list. Nor is it especially exhaustive:

I hate when people get mindlessly addicted to online games.

I don't know how it happened. First Angry Birds, now Candy Crush. It's a terrible thing.

I hate when people are late.

I’m always late. Always. I’m notoriously known as the girl who is always late, that’s how bad it is.

I hate when people use inappropriate language in front of children.

I have the mouth of a sailor. I’m constantly trying to watch what I say in front of my daughters. Sometimes I slip up. Okay, fine, maybe more than sometimes as my older daughter likes to point out.

I hate when people don’t text me back right away.

I always forget to text people back. I check my messages. I promise, I really do. I check them and then I promptly forget about them. Not cool.

I hate when people with more than 6 items of groceries line up in the express line.

I have done this. I have tried to sneak another item or two into this lineup when I fully know I shouldn’t. I’m not making any excuses for it and trust me, I’m not proud of it.

I hate when people can’t control their dogs.

This is me. I cannot control my dog. He knows who’s in charge and it’s definitely not me. I try to manage him as best I can and by that, I mean I keep him on a leash whenever I take him out. He might pull and tug and try to get away but he’s on that leash. That sorta counts, right?

I hate when people don’t know how to park.

I don’t know how to park. I really suck at it. And not just parallel parking, either. I suck at all types of parking. I’m the person who needs to reverse a dozen times before the car is parked straight. I’m really very sorry about this.

These are my Achilles Heel so to speak. The things that I just can’t get right, no matter how hard I try. You’d think that I’d be on top of it since they’re on my own list of pet peeves. You’d think that and you’d be wrong.

Unfortunately, for the life of me, I cannot get it together. This is like my ultimate failure list.

*face palm and hangs head in shame*

Ah, the sting of self-loathing is unlike any other.

Anyone else out there know what this feels like? I can’t be the only one!