There is an actual product called Sexcereal that is available on your grocery store shelves. I swear I’m not lying. It’s a legit for-real cereal that exists.
I was watching the evening news and happened to catch a segment about this nutritious breakfast alternative. It is marketed as a big life functional food that will fuel your fire. Apparently this cereal will increase a women's sex drive. I’m not making any of this up. I swear, even the news is no longer safe. Thank goodness my husband wasn’t home or else who knows, I might just end up finding it in our pantry. How’s that for a hint? Besides, I’d hate to throw out perfectly good food.
Seriously. Cereal? Is that what the problem is? That’s what I’ve been missing? Good to know that I’m just making the wrong breakfast choices. Major sigh of relief.
For God’s sake. Who even came up with this? It must be a man because most women know better. We know that it’s not cereal we need, it’s time. Time is the culprit, people. We have much too much to do in the mornings than worry about….ahem….what this cereal promises to help us with. We have children and pets to feed, lunches to make, coffee to be consumed. I just don’t have the time for these other sorts of activities, sorry.
Unless, of course, this cereal managed to get my floors mopped and bathrooms cleaned for me. Maybe it could also figure out what’s for dinner and get started on that. And while it’s at it, maybe dust the baseboards because those suckers haven’t seen a duster up close since we moved in. In fact, I could probably come up with a whole slew of things that need to be done around the house. All of which unfortunately take precedence over that which the cereal is selling.
If only I could ever get everything done that needs to get done. Maybe some help with that and I might just find myself with some free time.
Then by all means, bring on the cereal.