I love my husband but I miss my boyfriend.
Don’t get me wrong. My husband is my absolute best friend and can make me laugh like no one else can. He knows me better than anyone else and I truly cannot imagine my life without him. He has given me two beautiful children, a wonderful life, and a loving home. I don’t know how I got so lucky but I did. All that is something I cannot dispute and being so close to my husband is the best feeling in the world….except when it’s not.
Sometimes I just want him to go back to being my boyfriend for a little while.
Is that really wrong to admit? I can’t help but sometimes want to go back to the time when I would dress up for him and get butterflies in anticipation of him picking me up for our date. When I didn’t always know what he had planned for the evening. Back to when we actually would have a night out. Long before sweatpants and ponytails became the norm rather than the occasionally cute exception.
I miss when he would wear cologne, do his hair, and shave. Why do men stop doing all that once we get married to them? Oh, right. Probably because we stop doing the same for them. Oops. Makes me almost wish I wasn’t so laidback anymore. Almost but not quite. Those sweatpants are irresistible.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to sometimes missing the dating game. I miss not knowing absolutely everything about my husband and still having some things to discover. And by this, I don’t mean how much he spent on drinks with his friends last weekend. That’s just grounds for a fight. But I miss the cute conversations that would divulge little surprises and adorable nuances. We were a long distance couple and could talk on the phone for hours. I miss having so much to talk about — conversations that didn’t revolve around household chores, children, responsibilities. Do I ever miss that.
I think what I really want is the excitement and spontaneity that seems to disappear slowly along the way. Planning extravagant dates and then following through on them. Weekends together actually being together. I miss the time when we would still make that effort to impress each other.
Married life is fantastic in so many ways but I’d be lying if I didn’t miss some of the little things that make dating so much fun. It seems to me that I’m going to have to go on a date soon — with my husband. And damn it, we’re both dressing up.