I desperately need a new diaper bag. And not just any diaper bag, but the most practical diaper bag ever made. I know this sounds trivial and ridiculous, but it has become a dire necessity and I’m sure other mommies would agree with me. I refuse to have a newborn without this very crucial item in my possession. It just won’t be done.
I tried vainly to fight it with my first born. I refused to be a diaper bag carrying mom. I’m not really sure why, other than I thought carrying a matronly diaper bag was right up there with driving a mini-van. I was clearly naïve and ridiculous. Now, I’ve smartened up. I now know that mini-vans are cool, and so are their accessory counterparts—ultra big and durable diaper bags. It’s the new cool, just like the forties are the new twenties, and the thirties are the new teens. It’s not just me saying this—read People magazine sometime and you’ll see that they say the same thing, so that’s like the best verification of "cool" possible.
When I became pregnant for the first time, I spent hours trying to find a cute handbag that would do double duty as a stylish diaper bag, without actually being a diaper bag. It would be big, but not too big. Soft leather, but not get ruined easily. Functional enough to lug baby bottles in, while being fashionable enough to carry on date nights. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! I might as well have been searching for a modern day, fire-breathing dragon, because the end result would have been the same. Neither of them really exists.
This time around, I’ve embraced the whole mommy package. This package comes with a lightweight, easy to clean, and humongous diaper bag. Like the bigger the better sort of diaper bag. Big enough for bottles, clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, snacks, and the kitchen sink, if I’m so inclined. Light enough that I can carry it along with my super heavy car seat. On a side note, why do they make car seats so freaking heavy? Men have got to be the ones making these things. Women know we have other things to carry, like, umm, babies and their piles of stuff.
Anyway, I need a diaper bag that will make all my troubles disappear, is what I’m really saying. The kind that will make me smile, even as I’m sleep-deprived and covered in baby spit-up. A diaper bag that I can look at, even on my worst days, and think, “Man, I got this so right.” And if you’re thinking that I’m projecting way more onto this diaper bag than is even remotely normal, my answer is: maybe. Maybe you’re right and I should stop to reflect on that. Unfortunately, I’m too busy searching for the most perfect diaper bag ever invented, and when I find it, you’ll see, it’s going to change my world (right?).
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