I’m so sleep deprived today that I’m in an extra special mood, even for someone pregnant. The kind that makes me want to kick at the curb and take part in my own tantrum meltdown. Obviously I can do no such thing as I am an adult and a mother and we handle our bad moods differently. We take to our blogs, Twitter, or Facebook to lament about how incompetent the rest of the world is and how everything bad is the fault of the simple minded folk we must associate with. So that’s just what I’m going to do.
As a pregnant woman, I get a lot of unsolicited advice. This isn’t my first time at the rodeo but that doesn’t stop others from sharing their gems of advice. Since I have to endure listening to this stuff and sharing is caring, I think it’s only right that I recap some of it:
Drink lots of milk so your baby comes out white. I’ve never heard such poignant wisdom before but there’s one small concern I have. I’m brown and my husband is brown—if my baby comes out white, I’m going to have a bigger problem on my hands than I even care to think about.
Don’t pick up your toddler, you’ll hurt the fetus. This is never prefaced by an offer to hold my daughter to perhaps give me a bit of a break. It’s like they (they as in the ‘unnamed enemy’) think she’s a bag of groceries that I can just set down on the counter. FYI, I tried and it doesn’t work—she moves and wails.
Eat sweets, your baby will be born sweet natured. I’m down with this one. Bring on the cookies. And maybe some chocolate cake (If my husband is reading this, I’m only kidding of course).
Don’t walk so fast, you will hurt the fetus. I am a slow walker by nature so it’s not like I’ve all of a sudden gotten supersonic speed. I haven’t. I think it’s just something else to correct me about, whether true or not.
Don’t be so lazy, your baby will be a sloth when it’s born. This one gets me particularly riled up. I’m a pregnant and hormonal lady right now so do you really want to get on my bad side?
Don’t yell so much, your baby will be born afraid of everything. Okay, this one sort of makes some sense to me. I hardly want my unborn child to be afraid that his/her mother is a raving lunatic because of all my yelling. I’d much rather he/she be born before realizing that one.
Those are just some of the comments I have to suffer on a regular basis. I’m not even half way there and it’s driving me crazy. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has to hear such rubbish so come on and share. Hearing other people’s pregnancy woes (better you than me!) might just be enough to put a smile on this tired mummy’s face.