Evelyn Hannon: Aging Disgracefully


Kids Say the Funniest (Truthful) Things

Children under five haven't yet had the truth socialized out of them

One of the most delicious things about kids under six is that they haven't yet had the truth socialized out of them. As a result they say it as they see it and feel it.

As a grandmother of four I've been the butt of many of these observations. They made me laugh but they also made me reflect on what had been said.

Even though three of my four grandkiddies have already learned to observe but not always say  it, there is still one little three year old family maverick who speaks 'the truth.' Just last week I took her and her older sister to see Santa downtown. Waiting for the subway I insisted she hold my hand. She complied with lots of fuss, then leaned over to her sister and said, 'Grandma is very mean.' I smiled to myself and thought, she's afraid to mess directly with me but she slyly reported to her sister in a voice loud enough for me to hear. Smart kid!

Here are a few other truth telling episodes I've been the victim of over the years. Funny, they made enough of an impression on me that even with the passage of time, I haven't forgotten them.

Truth #1
Little grandson loved to play with my very long hair. He'd pat it and smooth it and run his fingers through it. Then braids became fashionable and I wore my hair in that style even for the fanciest events. I guess the little guy became frustrated with me because our conversation went like this...
Grandson: I don't like your hair like that.
Me: Why not, sweetheart?
Grandson: Because it makes you look like a horse.
Bang. Smack. Touche! I never ever braided my hair again without wondering if I really looked like a horse and no one else was willing to tell me.
Truth #2
The whole family was having lunch together on Mother's Day. To start the conversation about three generations being present, I announced to everyone, 'You know, I am the oldest mom at this table.' And little granddaughter shouted back with glee: 'I know. You're old and you're going to die soon.'
Bang. Smack. Reality Check!
Truth #3
During a sleepover my little granddaughter wandered into my bedroom as I was getting dressed. I suppose my undies were not as abbreviated as her mom's. She stared long and hard at me and then announced, 'I see your boobs and I see your diaper.'
Bang. Smack. Mortification! 
Truth #4
A few weeks ago the three year old maverick spent the day with me.
Grandma: It's time for your nap.
Maverick: Grandma, you smell like eggs.
Bang. Smack. Go figure!
Here's a question for you, dear readers. Kids really do say the funniest (truthful) things. What have you heard to make you laugh (and think)? C'mon, spill it!