Ask your husband, partner, or boyfriend what they want for a holiday gift this year and they'll likely shrug their shoulders and mumble something about "already having enough stuff." But the thought bubble over his head probably says something like "How about an orgasm, honey," just like my guy did.
Did your shock-o-meter just hit 10? I know I ruffled a few feathers when I posted this photo of Trojan Lube on my Instagram account and mentioned I was going to test it out with my husband. Not everyone was impressed with how casual I was about my (lack of) bedroom antics.
Here's why I did it and why I'm about to do it again: The problem about not talking about sex? It leads to not having sex, which in turn leads to an unhappy marriage. I'm speaking from experience, having been married for fifteen years. Since becoming a mom fourteen years ago, I still find it challenging to remember to engage the woman inside the mom.
So I did a social experiment with the lube I was sent, and it was all in the name of the greater good. I told my husband about the two different types of lubricant I had waiting for us up in the bedroom and asked him if he would "test them" with me. Talk about firing on all cylinders! I made my husband a happy man with that slippery gift.
The holidays are just around the corner and you're probably making your shopping lists. When it comes to the man in your life you're likely thinking along the same old standard lines of socks, underwear, or some new tech thing. Wrong.
Do something he will remember for a LONG time. Put together a PRIVATE holiday erotic loot bag that will surprise and delight him—one he will thank you for over and over (and over) again.
Here are some great gift items to "stuff his stocking" with—if you get my drift:
This one requires some planning. Choose a time and place where you know you can stay up late and make noise. Maybe ask your in-laws to take the kids over night one evening during the holidays. Your invitation to your partner could be homemade, or you can find the right store-bought card. Just reading a well-worded invitation to a night of passion and the ensuing anticipation will start his ignition.
This is essential to get you both in the mood and in the moment. Once the mutual massaging begins, the stresses of the day will melt away and you will both be relaxed and present for your time together. According to Sexpert Dr. Trina Read, just ten minutes of erotic massage can mean the difference between mediocre and fantastic sex.
There are a ton of books out there geared to turn you and him on. Search erotica on YMC and a ton of fun suggestions will pop up. If talking about sex makes you giggle nervously, here are 5 of the funniest smut books to break the ice in bed.
Do not be shy or embarrassed. Proudly head to the condom section in your pharmacy (or buy it online) and invest in some lube to drive you and your partner wild. I tested a few different kinds from Trojan. The Arouses & Intensifies is perfect for foreplay massage and intercourse. Or, if you like it hot—Arouses & Releases uses your body movement to unlock the heat. And yes, it works. It's not just me who felt the benefits of lube. In a study of over 1,500 women, lubricant use was associated with making sex better. I don't have any any numbers for the affect of lube on men, but I would guess that just unwrapping a bottle of this magic elixir privately this holiday will make him very...happy.
Remember: What's good for you is good for him. If you want to add some adventure to your night of passion, a vibrator can add some spice to your love life. YMC Sex Blogger Nadine Thornhill swears by them and has some great advice on buying the right vibrator for you (and him).
If you think writing all of this was easy for me, you're wrong. I'm not well-versed in all things sex. I still giggle nervously when I write or say the word "lube" or "vibrator." But it's important to be frank about the reality women with kids are dealing with. My hope is that this holiday, you make an effort to focus on yourself and your relationship, because it shouldn't just be about the kids. This holiday, get out of your comfort-zone and go somewhere much hotter...if you know what I mean. I know your partner will thank you.