Week #9—The Six Month Sex Challenge
Struck with The Baby Blues
I suppose I’m lucky. I’ve dealt with mild depression for twenty years. Managed by an on-going regime of eating well, exercise and understanding what is happening, rather than fighting it.
With both babies my post-partum depression has come out suddenly—mostly when I’m exhausted—stays a while and then goes away. My world hasn’t been turned upside down because I’m used to depression; it’s more of a hugely inconvenient blip.
Still, the feelings of despair, hopelessness and anxiety are, well, what they are. I’m so busy just trying to get through those particular days in one piece that there is nothing left to give to my partner. In fact, I need him to take over.
Here is yet another obstacle to add to the long list of things that make sex after baby complicated.
Sex? Really? This Week?
This is the first time since I started this Six Month Sex Challenge that the depression hit me hard and I really couldn’t stand the thought of sex or anything it takes to create intimacy with my partner. I refuse to feel guilty about it because the guilt can easily send me into a depressive tailspin.
HOWEVER, the research/ scientific part of my brain keeps nagging at me, “In for a penny, in for a pound.” This would be a perfect opportunity to experience first hand whether the potent mix of happy-hormones secreted during sex is the elixir to help curb this depression.
So there you go. Sex in the name of science.
How was the We-Vibe?
As my husband gave me a lovely all-about-me hot oil massage last week, this week is about him and we would go with the We-Vibe.
We’ve tried the We-Vibe before this baby and loved it. However, this time I’m dealing with my breastfeeding-dry-vagina so I wanted to see if intercourse would be uncomfortable.
Well...it was better than I expected. With plenty of water based lube (never use a silicone toy with silicone lube) it was actually bordering on pleasant. Although initial entry into the vagina was uncomfortable.
Getting a bit technical here: I believe (an educated guess) the vibrations from the We-Vibe on both the clitoris and the vaginal wall were able to bring blood to the surface and help the overall vulva area to become aroused quicker.
Woohoo! Is all I have to say about the We-Vibe! (And it was invented by a fellow Canadian.)
What about the post partum depression?
I did feel a spike in happy feelings for about a half an hour. What I didn’t expect though was that post-sex my husband left me lingering kisses, cuddles and touches for the rest of the day. That affection really did a lot to help keep the depression at bay.
Husband's rating on We-Vibe
He gives it an 9.5/10. He believes the We-Vibe is the best sex toy he’s ever tried. He thinks it good sharing toy for both the gal and guy. It’s not a threatening type of phallic shaped and it’s really easy to use. (You must understand my husband is SUPER analytical and critical about EVERYTHING—I can’t believe he actually gave a 9.5 rating.)
More Six Month Sex Challenge
Hot Oil Massage? Yes Please!
Hooray! We Finally Had Sex
My Sexual Needs Versus The Football Game
(My Six Month Sex Challenge blog series was originally published in 2009. I'm happy to report now that my kids are 3 and 5 years old, my sex life is back on track!)