Dawn Rebel


What You Can Do About Those Rogue Single Socks

Rage Against The Sock-i-cide!

September means the return of many beautiful things: fresh morning air, trusted daily routines, our favourite cozy sweaters, and the wearing of socks.

The return of socks heralds a real conundrum.

On par with other great mysteries of the universe is the sad single sock that emerges from the dryer. While scientists and philosophers ponder dark energy, pulsars, and the origins of humanity, I prefer to sweat the sweat-sock mysteries. Where do they go when they enter the dryer/Bermuda Triangle?

Moreover, my husband used to tremble when I’d spot a hole in his sock: “You’re going to commit sock-icide when I take this off, aren’t you?” Yes. I admit that I have cruelly, and without regret, executed dozens of past-their-prime socks.

But, I’ve found two genius solutions to the rogue-sock riddle:

1. Go homogeneous

Christmas. Birthday. Father’s Day. September’s famed International Self Improvement Month. ANY of these are a great excuse to purchase:

An entirely new set of socks. Same colour. Same brand.

You will never have to pair socks again, ever. We did this, and will never go back.

2. Up-Cycle

Single socks make the world’s best dusting cloths. They fit on your hand, are soft enough to avoid scratching even the most delicate surfaces, and you simply toss them in the wash when you’re done. Save yourself some money, and give Mother Earth a break.

Some guidelines if you plan on going homogenous:

  • Buy enough pairs to last two weeks. Sometimes laundry takes a back seat to…life.
  • Choose a brand and style that will stand the test of time. You do not want to have to buy an entirely new set of socks when “Cheap-o Brand X” goes out of business. Shop at ol’ reliables such as The Bay or Sears, and see what long-time brands and styles they carry. I chose a soft and sturdy staple.
  • Pick a colour/style that makes sense for your life (i.e., if you are a roofer, you probably don’t want to get two weeks’ worth of dress socks).
  • Keep a couple of pairs of “just-in-case oddities” (i.e., a brown pair if you usually wear black).

World record, longest line of socks, New Zealand. See?! Won’t need to pair those, New Zealand.

For those who refuse to commit sock-icide, this kind person has a Department of Missing Socks wall in the laundry room. Bless their patience…

So, what do you do about the rogue single socks?