In my one year anniversary blog post celebrating a full year of writing for the Yummy Mummy Club I wrote this....
"When I left my much loved career in radio to become a SAHM I felt like a huge part of me was missing. My fear was that I would never be able to fill that void with something that fulfilled me as much as the world of radio broadcasting did. It really was my passion. Truth be told I actually got panic attacks about it. It was a major low point for me. Emotionally I was a wreck. It was so set in my mind I was going back to work, that when circumstances changed, and it turned out that I was going to stay home full-time, I never had the time to mentally and emotionally digest that huge lifestyle change."
Looking back and reading that blog seems like a lifetime ago.
At that time, I really thought that the opportunity to get back into radio was never going to materialize. The thing with the world of radio is, once you're out of it for too long, it's really hard to get back into it.
But over the years I've truly come to believe that all things happen for a reason and there is no such thing as coincidence....when you least expect it and aren't actively looking for something, that's when opportunities present themselves.
Like Oprah's mantra...if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.
Fast forward from that blog entry to Thursday, June 2, 2011 and I'm sitting in the offices of the Bell Media radio stations here in Ottawa signing up to do weekends (9AM-2PM) on their station, Majic 100 - Today's Soft Rock.
The opportunity to get back on the air all came about pretty quickly and it took me no time to say "Yes! For sure! Where do I sign?"
Then after all the paperwork was signed that's when all the insecurities came to surface.
My first shift was Saturday, June 4. And leading up to that day I was a disaster.
I was nauseous and a nervous wreck. I was ulcer bound. Like ridiculous nervous.
I mean, five and a half years of baby, toddler and pre-school conversations had me second guessing if I could even get through a five hour shift with finding stuff to talk about, let alone in adult speak and in coherent sentences.
But like most things in life, when it comes to things that you truly love, when you go back to what truly is your passion, it's like riding a bike. It eventually all comes back to you. And the butterflies in your stomach all but disappear and you feel like you've returned home to where you feel most comfortable and really yourself. And for me that's in a studio with headphones and a microphone.
And the best part is, that Monday to Friday I'm still at home with the kids full-time playing the other role that I truly love, that of 'Mommy'.
I've come full circle - a door of opportunity opened when I thought it had been closed for good. And for that I'll be eternally grateful.
I'm ridiculously excited for what's to come and to share all my new adventures with my kids...even though they think it's 'really weird' to hear Mommy on the radio.
So I guess it's time to change my bio here on the Yummy Mummy Club now isn't it?
So I'm sad to report my well thought out 'Mission NKOTBSB Montreal' failed.
I am currently working on 'Mission NKOTBSB Ottawa'.
I am going to pinch Donnie Wahlberg's ass if it kills me. It's on my Bucket List of things to do in my lifetime.
But I digress.
So how was the concert in Montreal?
It was brilliantly cheesy, fun, fantastic and indulgent with lots of gratuitous crotch grabbing and pelvic thrusts by each and every member of NKOTBSB (to the thunderous screams of approval from the sold out crowd).
Simply put it was the BEST musical walk down memory lane I have had in a very long time. The 18-year old girl in me had the night of her life. And I can't wait to do it all over again in Ottawa on August 4th. (That's right, I'm going to another show - not really a shocking revelation now is it?)
It was bliss. And I have the hoarse voice to prove it. I haven't yelled that much since my daughter decided to decorate the kitchen floors and counter tops with my husband's huge vat of vanilla protein powder.
And did I mention that Donnie Wahlberg took his shirt off? Yes. Yes he did.
So today is the day.
I am off to Montreal with my sister, cousins and brother's girlfriend to go see NKOTBSB in concert.
And cue screams of delight.
The 18-year old girl in me is very, very excited. She's making me go to this concert. Forcing me really. The 18-year old girl in me gets all full of serious attitude and becomes unbearably bitchy when she doesn't get her way.
So really I had no other choice.
So to make sure I make the most of this 'boy band walk down memory lane adventure' I have come up with a plan. Because coming up with a plan is what music loving 38-year women do.
My plan is to A: somehow sneak backstage B: pinch Donnie Wahlberg's ass and C: not get arrested, thrown in jail or have a restraining order issued to me on behalf of the NKOTBSB management
Sounds foolproof right? Right? Right?
Plus I need to get a photo with the NKOTB boys....especially the bad boy Donnie Wahlberg (back off ladies he's mine....I love him I do) if only to make up for the traumatic experience that I suffered courtesy of my father.
The closest I ever got to 'meeting' NKOTB was when I was in high school. New Kids played a show at Landsdowne Park and after the concert we went all special OPs/cloak and dagger to find the NKOTB tour bus. We found it. But unbeknownst to us, the boys had already left in a limo immediately after they left the stage.
Instead, their manager at the time, Maurice Starr came out of the bus and told us that the boys would have loved to have signed our t-shirts, but sadly were already on an airplane to their next show. So Mr. Starr thanked us for being such huge fans, shook our hands and signed our concert t-shirts.
Hey, a girl is going to take what she can get. Even if it's Maurice Starr's autograph.
I held on to that t-shirt for years. It was one of my prized possessions. And that's when the happy story turns sad and traumatic.
My dad found my t-shirt in the laundry hamper one day and decided upon himself that the t-shirt was too worn out to be worn in public and therefore not worth saving and proceeded to cut it in strips to hold up his beloved tomato plants in his 'giardino'.
And cue the ear splitting screams of horror when I returned home from school and discovered the t-shirt massacre. Yes these are the injustices I had to suffer as the first born daughter of Italian immigrant parents.
The story concludes with my dad announcing that I was crazy and threatening to send me back to the old country to get my head straightened out.
A plot compelling for a TV movie of the week, I know.
So see, I have to get myself backstage. I just do damn it. I have to resolve these apparent unresolved issues of my youth!
So while I work out the details to my 'operation NKOTBSB backstage' how about some boy band videos...I mean it is a walk down memory lane after all.
And for the record I do believe I still have all the dance moves to the 'You Got It (The Right Stuff) video.