Cat Coode: Technically Speaking


The Ridiculous New Bluetooth Pregnancy Test

Because not everything in life needs an app for that

by: Cat Coode
New Bluetooth Pregnancy Test |

Any woman who has ever taken a pregnancy test is acutely aware of the emotional, intimate, and agonizing three minutes of waiting for those test results. The only thing that could help in that situation is a video of baby animals timed perfectly to the waiting period... wait, what? Oh yes, the 'puppy and kitten video' feature is one of several on First Response's new Bluetooth pregnancy test.

Unveiled at this years Consumer Electronics Show, the First Response Pregnancy Pro is a blue tooth unit (the tester) with an app that runs on your device. The idea is that you pee on the stick, as per usual, and then the app walks you through the next, and maybe biggest, minutes of your life. 

Shake My Head #1: the app aks if you *want* to be pregnant. This way it can applaud and congratulate you if you are successful and comfort you with fertility plans and suggestions if you are not. It is not yet known what it does in the event that you answered 'no' to this question.

Shake My Head #2: For your three minute wait you can select from options Entertain Me (cute video of puppies and kittens literally produced by Buzzfeed), Educate Me (fertility and pregnancy information) or Calm Me (meditative music). 

Shake My Head #3: With all the information we are adding to our digital identities, THIS should not be on the list. Any device connected to the internet is part of the Internet of Things, or IoT, and should be treated as potentially public. Do you really want your fertility data where anyone could access it?

My advice,  save the $20/test asking price, buy a bulk pack of tests from Costo and call in your partner, spouse or friend to be there for you...

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