Caroline Fernandez: Activity Mummy


Making Friends With Other Mothers

Or...How To Pick Up A Mom

I signed DS up for baby group.  When the admin person found out I had other kids she said "This group is only for new mothers". I responded "Can't it be for mothers of new babies?"   She questioned me about what I thought I might get from the group...what I didn't tell her was the thing I wanted most...I wanted to pick up a mom.

Motherhood can be really isolating.  (we all know this right?)  One needs a social network of peeps in the same parenting position.  I totally had an agenda going into that baby pick up a mom...get her number...and grow a serious relationship based on playdates, stroller fitness and mom & tot swimming lesson registration lines. 

Baby group is the new eHarmony.

I want to find a match.  Companionship.  A happily ever after.

And it's not seedy to pick up a mom.  'Cause they are at *play group*, *play ground*, *drop in* (*insert kid place here*) for the same reason - socialization. 

Years ago (on another mat. leave) I met a delicious daddy who took paternity leave.  He was dying to pick up a mom (not for that reason).  Stay-at-home dads are even more isolated than stay-at-home moms.  (Gender can be a ball and chain)  

The delish dad and I picked each other up at a baby group...and I'm proud to say we had a great, steady, completely platonic, relationship based on parenting and play dates.  We completed each other during the long, work-day, hours when the sun was high and patience was sometimes low.

Modern mom pick up lines go something like:

"My friend has that same diaper you like it?"

"Do you have an extra diaper?"

"Hey I found a free drop-in...wanna come with?"

Finding of parents, with kids the same age, puts you in-the-know for age-appropriate kid gear, the sign up dates for lessons and which malls have the best changing stations.  Plus, it gives your kids' a nudge in the friendship department.   

Building a social network is so important for stay-at-home-whoever and babies too.  Thus, I'm trolling baby group and speed dating at the park. I'll even pick up on twitter - @ParentClub.  This isn't's simple socialization. 

So I'm not a new mother.  I'm a mother of a new baby - who knows the benefit of having a secret agenda at baby group.