We tend to take the daily news in stride as adults. As shocking or horrific as a news story can be, we're somehow able to view it at arms length, maintaining the distance required to keep ourselves sane I suppose. We treat the news almost like entertainment or gossip starting our conversations with "Did you hear?" or "You'll never guess what happened!"
So, Erica called me and said the Egg Farmers of Canada were challenging me to feed my kids eggs for an entire work week in order to prove how easy (and fast) it is to serve eggs for breakfast. Hahahahahaha. I laugh in the face of such challenges Erica and you silly egg farmers!
"Pfft, that's so easy," I say. "Prove it," says Erica.
Good lord, I can’t wait for the jig to be up on this whole tooth fairy thing! Because I gotta tell you that our tooth fairy? Total ASSHOLE.
It’s like she’s got some mental block where my kids are concerned. While other children wake up to find money under their pillows, mine wake up to nothing but dashed hopes. Case in point: my nine-year-old has just gone back to bed at 8:30 in the morning until the tooth fairy comes. She’s sick of this treatment and she’s going to protest. *sigh*
Today I want to talk about something I’m fairly confident we’ve all discussed over drinks with our girlfriends or maybe even strangers, most definitely our doctors. It seems to me that the more I talk to other women about this, the more opinions I get on its usefulness.
Today I want to talk about your uterus. My uterus. Her uterus. That lovely little bit of your body that nurtured your children for nine months, but is otherwise sitting dormant now.
I don't know about you, but when summer arrives, my whole outlook changes. I'm more carefree, I'm happier, and I drink way more. Kidding about that last one.
Okay, not really, I totally drink more, which means my upbeat mood could be attributed to the sangria but for the purposes of this blog, we'll give the extra sunshine the credit.
Today I was stumbling around on the internet and came across this. Basically it’s all about a restaurant in the U.S. that suggests its food is worth dying for. They offer Bypass Burgers and Flatliner fries, with one of their burgers topping out at an obscene 10,000 calories!
Seriously? 10,000 calories and you haven’t even ordered a side and a drink yet? Just how far are we going to take this crap?
This past weekend marked perhaps the most perfect weather ever for a May long weekend in Canada. It was absolutely glorious from the Friday morning right through to the Monday night. And it took my family exactly 3.2 seconds to shift into summer mode. The girls lived in the pool, they picniced on blankets on the lawn, I generally avoided my computer for three straight days, my husband and I sat in the backyard with cold drinks and had long conversations.....it was perfection.
Last month I joined media from across North America for the Summer to Remember Press Event at Walt Disney World in Florida. I'm sure you'll not be surprised to hear that Disney continues to give their guests a million and one reasons to come visit them. As was pointed out to us by Meg Crofton, they are not in the theme park business, or the vacation business, or the cruise business, they are in the experience business and that's what they're determined to give you in the coming months!
I can barely write this post without big drippy tears streaming down my face. Because I am blessed. I am blessed beyond anything I ever deserved with the two most wonderful parents on earth. Truly.
And yet, I've let them down before. I've forgetten to call, or I let my tiredness prevent me from inviting them in for supper. I got lazy. I got wrapped up in my own stuff and I forgot that although we are no longer under the same roof, we still share the same heart. And then I snapped out of it.
I just finished Day 1 on Week 2 of Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 and I think I’m now finally in the right frame of mind to write this post.
So here goes: help me.
Ooops! Hehehe, how did that slip in there? I meant, join me. Join me and we can both suffer together…..er, I mean support each other through this incredible workout.
Yesterday, my daughter came home with a note attached to her agenda that read something along the lines of “Dear Parent, Studies show that children who read at least 10-15 minutes a day perform better in all subject areas. We have noticed that your child is not filling out their reading log. Please ensure that they are updating it daily. Thank you.” To which I say “Nuh-uh, sorry, no can do.”
You see, there were two things there that really irritate me. First, the agenda and second the reading log.
For the past week, I have been spring cleaning, with some home renovations thrown in on the side for good measure. Let me tell you, nothing like a little spring cleaning to open your eyes to the fact that you are drowning in stuff. I am so frustrated with time spent moving stuff, assessing stuff, sorting stuff, cleaning stuff and packing stuff up for when I might need it, that I just want to take a match and gasoline to my stuff. Anyone else feel that way?
Is Lent over yet, because this has been the longest f*#$ing 40 days of my life! What the f*$# was I thinking saying I would give up swearing? Clearly I had my head up my a$$. Don't go thinking I made it this long either before I broke down and let that first f-bomb drop. Nope, I gave in on DAY FOUR. After that it was a slow and steady decline into blue air.
A couple of weeks ago I thought to myself, “Self, when was the last time you went to the gym?” My brain strained to find the answer, then gave up after exhausting itself. *sigh* The fact that I can’t remember speaks volumes about my commitment to the gym.
And it’s not the numbers on the scale that concern me so much about my lack of attendance at the gym. It's these numbers:
Lent is here again and I usually don't give stuff up, mostly because I'm a major underachiever when it comes to resolutions and such. My kids, however, are towing the company line via their Catholic school and came home yesterday all eager to give stuff up. "Mommy, mommy, I'm giving up my DS, my computer time, make-up and I'm going to help you in the kitchen." Let's break this down sacrifice by sacrifice shall we?
