I am a firm believer that if you can not change the situation at hand, then change the way you react to it. It’s a skill I am trying to perfect as I get older.
When my stepson was seven, he confidently walked into the kitchen and announced that he would now be going to bed an hour later every night. Such confidence, such bravado. I knew he thought about the delivery of that little message all day. “Absolutely,” we said, “no problem”. He left the kitchen beaming that he’d become the master of his own destiny. I then stood up, walked over to the stove and put the clock one hour ahead.
Some would say that’s sneaky, but I prefer to think of it as creative parenting. He wasn’t ready to go to bed an hour later but we didn’t want to squash the confidence with which he’d delivered his message. One year later the clock went back to it’s regular time and he was none the wiser. No harm, no foul.
Really though, where small switches make big differences is in a marriage. Let’s face it, it’s a long term affair and what was once cute can get pretty annoying after a couple of years. Familiarity breeds both children and contempt. Both can also put a strain on your marriage.
Now, it has been whispered in some circles that I might be slightly anal-retentive. There may or may not be some truth to this. I mean, sure I like the shoes lined up at the front door and I get a little edgy when homework, bills and tools pile up on my kitchen counter and yes, I also don’t let my husband do laundry. I have a very specific way of doing the laundry. We all have our thing, right?
One of the drawbacks of insisting that I be the only one to do laundry is that I didn’t feel I had a right to complain when my husband used to take his sweaty, dirty construction socks off inside out and throw them in the hamper. This meant I had to reach my hand in aforementioned gross, stinky sock and turn it right side out to wash it. I tolerated this for ten long years until I finally lost my cool in a blinding flash of apocalyptic fury. This, for the record, is how not to execute a small switch in your household. Sure, my husband has never put his socks in the laundry basket inside out again but he twitches uncontrollably on laundry day. It’s not pretty.
This is a more refined example of “how-to” implement an effective switch in your household. Like many homes there is the small matter of the toilet paper roll. Does it go over or under? I don't actually care. My concern is does it go on the dispenser at all. In this house, if I didn’t do it, then the answer was a resounding no. This left me in an awkward position occasionally. So, I got rid of the classic dispenser on the wall, put a small table beside the throne and now it is always fully stocked. The best part? My husband had no idea that this little switch saved him from great harm. Love you, honey.
This blog is proudly sponsored by Cottonelle
Printer-friendly version