There’s been a lot of fussing this week about the couple in Toronto looking to raise their child genderless by not revealing its sex to anyone outside the immediate family. Ummm, ok?
This seems a little like a fools game to me, because you, the parents know, right? It’s like peeking at your presents before Christmas and then pretending to be surprised. “Oh look, it likes to pee sitting down/standing up, I’m absolutely flabbergasted. Who would have guessed?” In your heart of hearts you know, so who do you think you’re kidding?
Yes, I know they’re trying to make a statement to society that they want their child to determine who they are without social norms being pushed on them. Again, OK, whatever? So you don’t want Barbies pushed at it or maybe it’s Superheroes you want to avoid. Hey, I hated the Bratz. Like, I’m talking despised with every fibre of my being, the little trashy trollops. So, I had a rule. No Bratz. My kids knew it, everyone who knew me knew it and if someone tried to slip one in for a gift, it was “Thank you very much” and promptly disposed of. As a parent, you can do all that and more. We all have our thing. So, if there’s societal pressure put on your child and it goes against what you believe in, then advocate for them. Talk to them and tell them why you think this way and then let them find their own path.
I think this family is getting way more attention than they deserve frankly. To say they are on the fringe of societal norms is an understatement. In fact, I’m going to wager a guess that most parents will continue to celebrate their child’s gender for the pure wonder that it is. For me, having two little girls was all I ever dreamed of. I think girls are simply amazing. Do I want them to break out of stereotypes that I was confined to growing up? Sure I do. I want them to reach higher, go further and stand taller BECAUSE they are girls. I know friends with boys that feel the same way. They are knocking down stereotypes about crying and colour preference and that it’s ok to play with dolls, etc. As a society we are ever growing and evolving.......naturally.
But to deny your child a gender? In my opinion, that’s just silly. Your gender should be embraced, celebrated. It is part of who you are and you can’t fake that. I have no idea what this couple is thinking. Ultimately, I don’t really care either. The odds are pretty good that I’m going to go to bed tonight and sleep like a baby. I don’t foresee a stampede of parents demanding to put unknown under gender on their child’s birth certificate, do you?
Here’s a thought: why don’t we all leave these people alone and let them do their thing. Is there a chance they’re going to completely screw up their child? You betcha. Then again, maybe my Bratz lockout will turn my girls to a life of fishnet stockings and cheap perfume. Is raising a child without gender as bad as a child who is in a home where they are beaten, sexually abused or neglected? Not even close. Nothing to see here folks, go about your business. There have been no major shifts in the status quo.....yet.
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