You know what’s just around the corner, don’t you? Annual Hangover Day, otherwise known as New Year’s Day. Yes, that’s right folks. The day millions of people around the globe nurse themselves back to health after drinking far more than they should have the night before. Why do we do this to ourselves? Who the heck knows. Mine is not to question why, but rather to offer you support and guidance for the inevitable day of hell coming your way. Of course, I’ll be behaving myself drinking tea and playing bridge while listening to Glen Miller this New Year’s Eve, but I know there’s a few of you out there that like to push the limits of respectability.
Without further ado, here a few hangover cures for you to try. Let me know which ones work, strictly for research purposes only. I would obviously never actually need any of these.
First and foremost you might choose not to drink. I know, I know, but I had to get the obvious one out of the way.
If you have your faculties about you, have a full glass of water before bed. That being said, if you have the sense to do this then you haven’t had enough to drink. What’s wrong with you? It’s New Year’s Eve for heaven’s sake. Party like it's 1999 not 1899.
If you find yourself genuflecting at a big porcelain bowl you might as well say a prayer while you're down there. "Dear God, I promise to never drink like that again if you just take this misery away."
The hair of the dog. Why not delay the inevitable for the next day? Start with Caesar’s and Mimosas and work yourself up to the hard stuff by lunch time. Hangover be damned.
Chocolate milk. I’ve *ahem* done a little field work with this one and I have to say it works.
Lose your children. Not forever of course, but if you have willing grandparents, neighbours, older siblings, babysitters, the dog, then enlist their help.
The greasy IV drip. Start the day with bacon, eggs and buttered toast. Snack on chips. Join others like you in the McDonald’s drive-thru. The hangover gods demand grease as your sacrifice. Give in. You can start your New Year’s diet on the second.
Coffee. Stat. And keep it coming.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
Shower. Remove make up from night before. Brush hair. Brush teeth. Sleep.
Write down all the reasons why you’ll never, ever, EVER, drink again. This won’t make your hangover go away but it’s very therapeutic. While you’re at it, write down a list of all the people who may have digital images of you the night before. Prepare your retaliation.
Someone on twitter suggested having Midol and water before bed. Apparently this works for men too and they are a whole lot less bitchy in the morning too.
Sports drinks. Tomato juice. Orange juice. Water. You get the picture. Rehydration is your focus. I like fizzy drinks like Coke and ginger ale. To each his own. We all drank something different to get us here. Drink what you need to to get out of it.
Finally, don’t beat yourself up. So you over-indulged a little, ok, a lot, but you’re amongst friends. Chances are none of them are going to remember what you did anyway.
No need to thank me now, you can do it tomorrow when you feel better. That is of course, provided that you don't have the dreaded two day hangover. Happy New Year!