Oh America, I love you. I really, really do. From a very early age I've loved you. After all, as your neighbour, I've watched your television shows, spent thousands of dollars cross-border shopping and spend time every year visiting and touring your wonderful country. I love your amazing little idiosyncrasies and how your accents can change within blocks of each other. I adore your generous spirit and go get 'em attitude. You are my friend. So, this post comes from the purest of places, sitting with you now, knee to knee, clasping your hands firmly in mine and looking you deep in the eye, I have to say, "Please, please, get your head out of your ass."
Today a video surfaced showing Harvard students being asked what the capital of Canada was and lo and behold the only person who knew was a Canadian.
Now before I saddled up and jumped up on my horse I did a small test in my very own home, quizzing my eleven and 9-year-old girls. First up. What is the capital of the United States? Both quickly and properly answered Washington D.C. I then, because I didn't want to assume they knew, double checked they knew what the capital of Canada was. Thankfully (and mostly because we live here) they got it right. I moved on to some other countries and they knew England, France, Russia. I have some more work to do with them as they got a few wrong, but I'm pretty sure that by the time I'm shelling out the big bucks for a post-secondary education they'll know much of the world's geography. As they should.
News to only a few these days (I'm looking at you Harvard), we live in a global society, more intrinsically entwined than at any other time in history. Not knowing about the world is just bad taste. Not knowing about your neighbour to the north is like not knowing the name of the person you just slept with. Super tacky.
While this bit of news from Harvard is shameful, it's sadly, not that surprising. For years you've offered up Presidents and Presidential candidates who must receive the Canada 101 briefing when they decide to run for office. It's embarrassing America and I'm just going to say it, a little bit hurtful.
As a child I could draw a map of Canada and label it from one coast to the other. I could also do the same for the United States. That's right, I could name every one of your States and point them out on a map. I did this because I was little weird about geography obviously, but also because I always felt we were so tightly connected that I should know. To be fair, I've probably forgotten a state or two over the years, but I darn well know your capital.
I also remember learning American history in school and how it affected Canada and vice versa. I wonder if my peers in America remember the same from their school days? Something tells me probably not. It seems that Americans are quite insular when teaching history and geography and that just doesn't seem to be serving you well on the world stage my friends.
I visit you frequently America and I'm always a little disheartened by your lack of knowledge about us. So, I'm going to give you a little Canada 101 here so we can stop these embarrassing videos from leaking out of your country.
Hi, our name is Canada. We're your neighbour to the NORTH. We share the longest international border in the world. If you really want to be a super-smart border geek, watch this video.
We have a Prime Minister, not a President.
The capital of our country is Ottawa and it's one of the coolest places you'll ever visit. And when I say "coolest," I don't mean coldest, I mean amazing, gorgeous and historic. Please come visit us.
We have two official languages, English and French.
We have provinces not states.
Some of us in Canada pour our milk from bags, not jugs. Weird, but true.
You had Marion Berry, we have Rob Ford. Neither of us should be embarrassed. Mistakes happen.
I live in a house, not an igloo. I've never seen tundra in my life, although I hope to one day. This is true for most Canadians.
Maple syrup, is in fact, the nectar of the gods. Don't ever forget it.
It can get very, very cold here but most of us Canadians are huddled along that really long border of ours. In fact most of us live within 100 miles of the U.S. border so we enjoy much the same weather your northern states do.
Our gun laws are way better than yours. Period.
Canada is the best country in the world. You should really get to know us. What? You're not the only ones who can be proud patriots you know.
Finally, if you see this man, Rick Mercer, coming your way. Run. He's going to call you out on your lack of knowledge and well, then we'll have another embarrassing video.
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