Candace Derickx: See Mummy Juggle


Let's Hope I Never Get Caught In The Matrix

Or I'm screwed

There's a scene in the movie The Matrix, where everything suddenly becomes clear for Neothe protagonist of the story. He sees the world for what it really isnothing but code. Computer code.

This is where this science fiction classic becomes a bit of a horror story for me, because if I was only surrounded by code, I'd probably pull my plug.

Lord knows I love my technology, but as soon as you start talking about how it actually works, I start to break into a cold sweat. Not only is it a different language, it's a different language comprised of numbers. For me, the stuff of nightmares.

When I first started blogging, I had the luxury of just writing on Erica's site, here. I didn't have to worry about the code behind it all. That was the editor's job. *Sigh* Those were the days.

Now that I'm writing on my own site, it's become much more complicatedI have to worry about how things look on the surface, and if I have the latest and greatest options available to maximize traffic. For the most part, I have a dear friend who answers questions for me, but I hate to bother her more than four times . . . an hour. So occasionally, I need to figure it out on my own. This is when my brain starts to hurt, and I worry that the world really is just comprised of binary code. 

The other day, I asked about embedding videos on this site, and Sharon, being such a dear, responded almost immediately with this:

"Depending on what wordpress theme you have, you may need to download a pluginI had to do that for mine. Also, try switching to HTML code, embed the Youtube code, save, and then view it in regular view."

Whaaa? Is this even English? The way she says this so matter-of-factly slays me, too. Does she not realize who she's talking to?

Or then there's something like this. This is what came up when I went searching for a way to remove dates from posts on my site:

from this code under index.php:

<p class="meta">Posted by <?php the_author() ?> on <?php the_time('F jS, Y') ?> under <?php the_category(', ') ?>
<?php the_tags('Tags: ', ', ', ''); ?>
<?php edit_post_link('Edit', '', ' • '); ?>
<?php comments_popup_link('No Comments', '1 Comment', '% Comments'); ?></p>

remove this code <?php the_time('F jS, Y') ?>

This is why most days, you can find me at my computer, banging my head on my desk, and cursing to the code gods. It's also why there are still dates on every post on my site.

I envy all you people out there who can look at code and read it as if you were reading the words on this post. I think it's a second language, just like being able to speak French or Chinese. I also think you're incredibly talented. I, on the other hand, am proving myself to be more and more obsolete everyday. Soon, I will need a full-time code reader beside me each day. Or, if this really is The Matrix, Keanu will do. Rowr.